1fieryredhead

I have moved from home to uni and becomming independant everyday. However i need my mind to become more independant. I DO NOT NEED A MAN TO MAKE ME HAPPY!

i have never been :(

i thought my boyfriend loved me and wanted to be with me always (as he always told). He was 19 and i was 23 but that didnt matter and BOTH of us made that clear to each other. We had similar interests and goals in our life and spent almost everyday with each other. We did alsorts including going on holiday alone together. We only dated for 9 months :( that doesnt seem very long but the relatonship we had was so lovely and going so well (i thought) it felt like much longer and i trusted him completly as iv had bad experiances with ex’s espesh the one before him (he knew all about him). So from the beginning he knew that i was hoping to go to university in september and he made out it was not a problem wel see each other loads, it will not affect us but make us stronger and our relationship better. So i got my place somewhere about 2hrs drive away..not far really. Again this was not a problem and he never mentioned a thing. The week before i was due to leave he was completly different with me and then broke up with me..not giving me a full reason why..basically saying he felt more like best friends then bf & gf (yea who sleep together??) he sed he thought he just loved me but want in love with me etc. So i was DEVASTATED!! absolutely gobsmacked as was all my family and friends who thought we were perfect for each other..as did i..my whole world came crashing down around me and all i could think was that maybe hed change his mind and im moving soon it was so much to take. Iv been dumped before n it hurts like hell but this was an unexplainable pain n i feel it all over again writing this now :( So we spoke briefly and i moved. Then he began calling me everyday texing, facebook the lot.. so i few weeks later i told him its making me upset speaking to you but you not wanting me. So i told him to make a choice its either all or nothing. I was expectinghim to tell me at the end of the week nothing..however the next day he called me all sheepishly n gigggly n basically said he wanted me back! I didnt know how to take this so we said wed take it so etc n when i came home next wed meet up and see how it goes. So for that week he called n text etc being really lovely and i told him he had alot of making up to do. 2 days before i went home he seemed a bit different in hs texts not as many kisses or nice comments etc..so i got suspicious..when i came home he rung to arrange going out for a meal and i asked him have you changed your mind n he said yes! I COULD HAVE SCREAMED! well i kinda did at him dowen the phone, once again he couldnt give me a reason why he said he went out the night before and just started thinking hed made a mistake telling me he wanted me back, even though hed spent over a week feeling the opposite. In the end i told him i hated him for what hed done to me and to never call me again and slammed the phone down. Its a week tommorrow and i havnt heard off him which is what i wanted, and believe you me i wouldnt dream of taking him back, but i expected an apology, not that id forgive him but an effort to apoloigise or something. What kind of person behanves that way, he began using his age, the fact we live apart, etc its all rubbish and hes not the person thought he was. However much i dont want to be with him Im sad because i miss what we had and the close relationship and how similar we were. I worry i wont meet anyone like him and if i do will i compare them to him. I feel really down and sometimes i just stop and think and imt hinking about the times we had together and then i hate him for what he did to me. I need to get over him!! NOW!!