28days

i needa scream, so incredibly badly. there is one hell of alot of frustration here right now. the sort of frustration that is not healthy and come from the miscommunication of people who dont say how they feel. they say half sentences, tell you half truths, then reserve the right ot get shitty when things dont work out. for gods sake im not a freakin mind reader.
i cant write about this now.
i needa cool off.
im trying to stay motivated to actually stay friends with MJ. problem is, its not me who is fucking up right now. if she said something and stood by that emotion maybe i would know how to act. you cantg keep changing your mind hun. i cant keep up.

i have already given up. i cant do it. i physically cannot do it. i do not have the hours for me to work, sleep, do music practice and travel between the three. the day does not have enough time. without including eating, relaxing, exercise and chilling with mates. nope. looks like the musical side of me shall well… suffer in silence for a wee while. this saddens me. but hopefully this is only short term.

my best friend’s boy friend is blake. he is an awesome guy. he has gotten me out of some sticky situations, no questions asked. lately emily had confided in me that blake had lost ALOT of weight and he wouldnt talk about it.

i rang blake and asked if he had work and asked if he would mind giving me alift home as i was also in the city. he said for sure and we arranged where we would meet.

then, i went to woolworths. i knew why blake wasnt eating.

he has moved out of home and hates asking his parents for anything (he feels like he is a hassle/burden to them). i had heard through the grape vine that he had gotten into some trouble involving money as his housemate crashed his car and wouldnt pay up. so i got to woolworths and bought BULK food. i bought meat, vegies, rice, pasta, sauces for the pasta, fruit, milk, bread, soup, eggs and (as a treat) some conniseur cookies and cream icecream.

i then carried the darn bags of food all the way to our meeting place. as soon as he saw me he knew the stuff was for him and his face was classic. he was speechless. he kept saying thanks and that he would repay me. i told him to shut up and to consider it a merry christmas and thank you present. he gets me outta shit, i get him outta shit :D plain and simple :D

i dont think anyone should have to go without the necessities, like food. and the fact that i had the money to be able to buy him food for the next week or two without having to even think about it was something i am so appreciative of. and its made me happy everytime i think about it :)