This may seem strange, but she’s crazy in love with me and unless she breaks up with me, it’ll end really badly for her I suppose – and I don’t want her to fall into a depression because of me. She should feel stronger for breaking up, not weaker.
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I’m at this for a while now, but I’m really looking forward to its launch very soon… I really hope things work out.
I think I’m fine now – mostly because I know what I want in life. Beyond that, “Feeling Good” by David Burns helped me through it mostly… therapy so far has succeeded far less than this book and keeping at it: reading it, working at things as suggested etc.
As long as you’re stuck in it you certainly have a hard time seeing it, but once you’re out of it, it seems just like “get a grip and do it”... but it takes a while and persistence to get there.
This really is taking care of itself if you make well thought out choices in behaviour(-changes) and education/work-wise. Socially… well, that goes hand in hand with the former things.
It might seem rather strange, but I’m 27 and just now (for a little over two months) I’ve been in my first real and intimate relationship. The only thing that bugs me is that… I thought I’d fall in love with her – at least after a while – but I don’t think that’s the case. So this may not last very long… I didn’t have any expectations, but many other responsibilities (work, education and a few social-/family-wise) that are going under now and make me less happier than I was before when I was single; at least it seems that way to me. She is totally crazy about me and happy because she “finally found someone kind” etc… well, I’m running out of energy rather soon and I have to change or end it. But all in all a worthy experience and I still hold her dear and respect her.
Now that I’ve finally seen a psychotherapist (hypnopsychotherapist, to be exact) and I was diagnosed with Dysthymia, I must say it perfectly fits my description.
Except that… I’ve had that for about 13 years, as far as I can tell – if not even longer.
So after all this years and almost trashing my career I really hope I’ll make it.
I’m thankful for my supporting family and my good friends, eventhough I’m not sure at which point (if ever) I should tell them.
I really want this therapy to work and finally get a grip on my life again… and I’ working on getting there.
It happened again – I fell in love, tried to start a relationship but didn’t commit to really doing anything (an excellent understanding and sharing the same values is one thing, two dates with no result another) and failed again, out of fear of rejection and uncertainty in general.
Maybe I’m too cold. Or simply too much full of fear and too comfortable in rather doing nothing than trying.
To anyone else experiencing this: just because you don’t know something doesn’t mean you have to fully understand it to try. Keep communicating – no communication means no chance of getting anywhere, whether it’s love or a relationship.
At least I think that’s why I failed, once again. :-/
What really helped me… every day when I wake up, three key things to remember: happiness, love and respect.
There’s no reason for me not to be happy, because basically there’s no real reason not to be. Most things are either fabricated in my mind or just caused by myself because I’m a sucker for selfinflicted emotional pain.
Loving myself and the people around me, because that’s the thing they really deserve. Realizing that most people are ok and good (if that’s the case) and that usually people don’t mean you any harm (rather the opposite!) is only one of the steps that lead me to that observation. But I guess it takes quite some maturing to really get there.
And respecting myself and my friends / environment, because everyone has his good qualities and flaws, and that’s ok and makes just the mix that keeps both you and them around each other.
Helped me so far. It helps diminishing my low self-esteem and feeling better in general. :->
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