89xime05 on 43 Things

89xime05's Life List

1. stop cutting myself
7 entries . 42 cheers 228 people
2. be stable
1 entry . 7 cheers 14 people
3. get married
1 entry . 2 cheers 15,875 people
4. be responsible
1 entry . 6 cheers 87 people
5. save money
4 cheers 12,547 people
6. get a boob job
1 entry . 2 cheers 276 people
7. fall in love
1 entry . 4 cheers 21,772 people
8. kiss my best friend
2 entries . 9 cheers 24 people
9. read more
3 cheers 6,492 people
10. be more forgiving
3 cheers 208 people
11. want to live
3 entries . 13 cheers 5 people
12. speak french
1 entry . 1 cheer 451 people
13. find my g spot
8 cheers 5 people
14. feel alive
2 cheers 152 people
15. finish school
1 entry 1,431 people
16. have a car
1 entry 86 people
17. study more
1 cheer 1,172 people
18. travel the world
3 cheers 15,844 people
19. get rid of my scars
1 entry . 1 cheer 119 people
20. understand myself
4 cheers 359 people
21. save the pandas
1 entry . 3 cheers 18 people
22. find the perfect shade of red lipstick
1 entry . 3 cheers 29 people
23. find the perfect bra
7 cheers 198 people
24. get unbored
3 cheers 10 people
25. trust people
3 cheers 180 people
26. cry
2 entries . 2 cheers 294 people
27. pass my exams
374 people
28. wake up early
2 cheers 478 people
29. finish my book
1 cheer 455 people
30. GET THE PERFECT TAN
3 cheers 11 people

31.

List 100 Things that piss me off, besides not having any money...
2 entries . 1 cheer

37 people

32. stop self-injuring
4 cheers 19 people
33. compile a 100-things-about-me list
8 entries . 3 cheers 629 people
34. give cheers to people who needs them
1 entry . 3 cheers 1 person

35.

post random questions daily and see if anyone plays with me and answers them :)
17 entries

317 people

36.

leave little messages, quotations,pieces of art etc. for strangers to find
6 cheers

146 people

37.

use 10 words to develop a poem and invite others to do the same
4 entries . 2 cheers

8 people

38. Stop cutting
5 cheers 573 people
39. continue being the weird one
2 cheers 19 people
40. overcome the fact that i was molested
1 entry 14 people
41. Get people to play 2 Truths and a Lie on 43T.
4 people
42. write a book
21,973 people

Recent entries

cut

come on! 2 years ago

what the hell are you thinking? are you guys stupid or what? ive been strugling against myself for the past 5 years to stop cutting and you come up with a goal like this!, i mean im not your mom so do whatever you want but come on! there are actual goals to put on that list dont waste your time and live please!

Aug 07, 2006, 06:33PM PDT | 1 cheer | 1 comment

overcome the fact that i was molested

my story 2 years ago

i was seven, he was fourteen; he is my first cousin and we were at grandmas house playing or should i say “playing”. the game was the following: he was the husband, i was the wife and i was sick so he took me and placed me on grandmas bed, he said he was going to heal me so he started kissing me, i remember it felt funny but i was not sure what to do, next thing i know he pulled up my dress and started touching me and putting his fingers inside of me… you know how…., it was hurting me i didnt know what was going on, i just knew it was not right, soon it was over and i just asumed it was a game. that day he (that we used to be colse) stopped talking to me, he actually stopped visiting grandma every sunday.
years passed by and i kept thinking about it but didnt know exactly what to think, then in primary school mom had “the talk” with me, the baby talk, in that moment everything made sense fer me, i had just finished the what the hell happened-puzzle in my mind. it was clear, i had been abused.
i didnt tell my mom but i told a friend, she laughed and told me to stop making things up,so i decided not to tell anymore.
when i was 13 i got sick, im diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, so i started going to therapy, i told my doctor and he was very comprehensive, now im still dealing with the fact that i was molested, but dont feel guilty anymore. sometimes i see him in family reunions and i just want to scream: i remember what you did to me! but i am not strong enough, and even if i was it would make my mom really upset and my dad want to kill him,so to save myself from family disasters im not telling them, my only option is someday to tel him i remember everything and make him apologize or something, im still not sure if im ever gonna be strong enough to do it but its my plan for now.
fiihhuu, im glad i took that off my chest!

Jul 17, 2006, 06:15PM PDT | 2 cheers | 4 comments

write a poem

its about my best friend whom id always been in love with 2 years ago

I woke up, and looked for you, but you weren’t there,
I ended up alone with your absence
The emptiness of your indifference
Just once I tried to accept it
Live my life, forget about you
But you keep destroying my sense of security!
And for me the only thing to do is resign
Resign to be nobody for you
Accept to live under my own shadow
Not listening to my desires for the first time ever,
For the first time and forever…

Jul 04, 2006, 06:46PM PDT | 1 cheer | 0 comments

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