89xime05 on 43 Things

89xime05's Life List

1. Stop cutting
3 cheers 606 people
2. get married
1 entry . 2 cheers 18,547 people
3. find the perfect bra
7 cheers 206 people
4. want to live
3 entries . 13 cheers 7 people
5. be more forgiving
3 cheers 230 people
6. find my g spot
8 cheers 7 people
7. List 100 Things that piss me off, besides not having any money...
2 entries . 1 cheer 36 people
8. save the pandas
1 entry . 3 cheers 17 people
9. find the perfect shade of red lipstick
1 entry . 3 cheers 32 people
10. be stable
1 entry . 7 cheers 17 people
11. use 10 words to develop a poem and invite others to do the same
4 entries . 2 cheers 9 people
12. be responsible
1 entry . 4 cheers 101 people
13. continue being the weird one
1 cheer 17 people
14. stop cutting myself
7 entries . 34 cheers 254 people
15. kiss my best friend
2 entries . 2 cheers 29 people
16. leave little messages, quotations,pieces of art etc. for strangers to find
7 cheers 180 people
17. cry
2 entries . 1 cheer 317 people
18. understand myself
1 cheer 406 people
19. save money
3 cheers 14,682 people
20. GET THE PERFECT TAN
2 cheers 14 people
21. travel the world
3 cheers 18,504 people
22. write a book
26,011 people
23. compile a 100-things-about-me list
8 entries . 3 cheers 666 people
24. feel alive
2 cheers 162 people
25. wake up early
2 cheers 597 people
26. study more
1 cheer 1,300 people
27. get rid of my scars
1 entry . 1 cheer 123 people
28. have a car
1 entry 98 people
29. finish school
1 entry 1,724 people
30. finish my book
1 cheer 556 people
31. get a boob job
1 entry . 2 cheers 308 people
32. get unbored
3 cheers 12 people
33. trust people
3 cheers 203 people
34. fall in love
1 entry . 4 cheers 24,429 people
35. Get people to play 2 Truths and a Lie on 43T.
4 people
36. overcome the fact that i was molested
1 entry 24 people
37. read more
3 cheers 7,714 people
38. post random questions daily and see if anyone plays with me and answers them :)
17 entries 330 people
39. stop self-injuring
4 cheers 20 people
40. give cheers to people who needs them
1 entry . 3 cheers 1 person
41. speak french
1 entry . 1 cheer 511 people
42. pass my exams
419 people

Recent entries

come on! 3 years ago

what the hell are you thinking? are you guys stupid or what? ive been strugling against myself for the past 5 years to stop cutting and you come up with a goal like this!, i mean im not your mom so do whatever you want but come on! there are actual goals to put on that list dont waste your time and live please!

Aug 07, 2006, 06:33PM PDT | 1 cheer | 1 comment

overcome the fact that i was molested

my story 3 years ago

i was seven, he was fourteen; he is my first cousin and we were at grandmas house playing or should i say “playing”. the game was the following: he was the husband, i was the wife and i was sick so he took me and placed me on grandmas bed, he said he was going to heal me so he started kissing me, i remember it felt funny but i was not sure what to do, next thing i know he pulled up my dress and started touching me and putting his fingers inside of me… you know how…., it was hurting me i didnt know what was going on, i just knew it was not right, soon it was over and i just asumed it was a game. that day he (that we used to be colse) stopped talking to me, he actually stopped visiting grandma every sunday.
years passed by and i kept thinking about it but didnt know exactly what to think, then in primary school mom had “the talk” with me, the baby talk, in that moment everything made sense fer me, i had just finished the what the hell happened-puzzle in my mind. it was clear, i had been abused.
i didnt tell my mom but i told a friend, she laughed and told me to stop making things up,so i decided not to tell anymore.
when i was 13 i got sick, im diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, so i started going to therapy, i told my doctor and he was very comprehensive, now im still dealing with the fact that i was molested, but dont feel guilty anymore. sometimes i see him in family reunions and i just want to scream: i remember what you did to me! but i am not strong enough, and even if i was it would make my mom really upset and my dad want to kill him,so to save myself from family disasters im not telling them, my only option is someday to tel him i remember everything and make him apologize or something, im still not sure if im ever gonna be strong enough to do it but its my plan for now.
fiihhuu, im glad i took that off my chest!

Jul 17, 2006, 06:15PM PDT | 2 cheers | 4 comments

write a poem

its about my best friend whom id always been in love with 3 years ago

I woke up, and looked for you, but you weren’t there,
I ended up alone with your absence
The emptiness of your indifference
Just once I tried to accept it
Live my life, forget about you
But you keep destroying my sense of security!
And for me the only thing to do is resign
Resign to be nobody for you
Accept to live under my own shadow
Not listening to my desires for the first time ever,
For the first time and forever…

Jul 04, 2006, 06:46PM PDT | 1 cheer | 0 comments

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