Sidney Noble

I have had several ups and downs in this arena.

Since my last post my Great Grandmother has passed away. I can honestly say that I think of her daily. I’m truly regretful that I could not have found a better way to be closer to her. I do my best to not dwell on it as I cannot change the past.

This past July/August I made a trip to California and saw my Dad for the first time in six (almost seven) years. We did not get along very well, which I guess I expected. Luckily, I only spent about a day and a half there.

At that point, my brother and I took a road trip together from San Diego to Tallahasee. We stood like too tiny ants on the side of the Grand Canyon and looked down. We oohed and awed at the site of the Petrified National Forest. We ate food laiden with chilis in New Mexico. We enjoyed the company of my Grandparents, Aunt and cousins in Texas. We chowed down on some local favorites in New Orleans. We brushed the edges of the Gulf Coast. And we got him unpacked and in his new settings at graduate school.

It was a fanastic time.

Currently, I am gearing up for winter which does not yield many traveling opportunities for me. My Grandparents are wanting me to swing down to Houston around Christmas. However, due to vacation availability at work, I am unsure of how easy this may be. I would really like for my boyfriend to be there with me if I can swing it. He went down there the first Thanksgiving we spent together and I’ve wanted it to happen again ever since. It is one of two times I’ve gotten to be in a house full of people I truly care about.

Next warm season I am hoping to ride my bike across Arkansas, Alabama, Mississippi and George to my brother’s place in Florida. These are states I really want to see more of. And now I have a good excuse for getting down there. Hopefully I can make this work with money and my employer.

I will have my Associate’s Degree. Consider me stoked!

My two year degree has taken far longer than two simple years and I’m tossed up about how I feel about it. The additional years have been primarliy based on the fact that I have relocated so many times and the two local colleges in Kansas choose not to recognize my credits from California. “The curriculum is too different.”

As someone who has had to retake many general education classes now, I can safely say that they are not different.

Nonetheless, I am grateful to have spent time in my local community college. I have made a ton of friends, important network connections, learned a lot about the area, pushed my boundaries, and have just had a great time all around. At least three times a week I bump into someone I went to school with. I see them in the store, at the park, driving through town, in restaurants, etc. I love it. We all greet each other with hugs and smiles. And I just can’t get enough.

Where will I go from here? There is no telling. I’m investigating my choices with the two local universities. It seems that I’m going to quickly hit a major road block. Many of the classes I need to complete a bachelor’s degree are not offered in the eveings or weekends. I know myself enough to know that I should not get involved in online classes. And I cannot give up my full time job. My expenses are too great to do without it. Not to mention that the Topeka jobscape is ugly and I dare not re-enter the pool of the unemployed.

So, there are some other options that I am considering. Namely, programs that offer certificatges that would up my value in my current employment industry. I’m always happy to dress up my resume and I can always use some additional training.

I feel like this goal is unattainable at this point.

A year ago my Great Grandmother was moved from Texas to Minnesota to be put in a nursing home closer to some of my cousins who can care for her on a regular basis. This doesn’t make her further away, but it does mean that I now have to travel to two opposing locations to see her and my Grandparents.

With many requests for time off of work denied and only so much money from each paycheck to play with, I feel like I’m just beating my head against a wall.

Next Wednesday I am going to be traveling to Texas to see my Grandparents. I hope to maybe see my Great Grandmother some time this Fall/Winter. But, at this time there is no reason to believe that I will have the time off of work approved.

Aside from those two portions of my family, I have not seen anyone else (brother, father, etc.) since 2004. I talk to a few cousins from time to time on Facebook and my brother & father on the phone about once a month. But, that’s all I seem to get out of them.

Definitely losing hope in this arena.