AJBordeau

Upon realizing I’m stuck in a serious rut, I struggle with a way to crawl out. When life has become an endless season of raining parades, that whole we dig to hide from our unhappiness, ultimately becomes our comfort. And friends my life is currently in the great depression.  

I’ve found myself on an ongoing merry-go round of “all the things i wanna do, yet im scared shtless of failure”. So I’m sitting here, waiting on my breakthrough/breakdown..

Am i alone? I’m sure i have neighbors in the Land of denial..

    It always starts the same. Tomorrow will be the start of my new life! I will do all those things I dream off! Sound familiar? And when tomorrow comes, we find some catastrophic (or stupid) reason why its just not possible. And the next day becomes the perfect tomorrow. Until its today once again. 

    As I write this, I realize how full of sht I am when I say that. Life won’t ever be convenient for me to conquer those plans. I’m the master planner. When it comes to doing those plans, not so much. I refuse to leave this life dreaming of all I could have done while I’m here. I’m sure that would piss off the man upstairs a tad bit.

    To be honest, a magic moment of enlightenment didn’t inspire this post. Frustration of self did. Those endless lists of “to dos” that have yet to be “to dones” is what did. But hey inspiration can happen in the strangest ways. That simple checkmark is enough to keep this up. I guess I’m enlightened after all…

Hey guys, I’ve gotten my blog up and running! I’m so excited to finally DO something after doing all that talking about doing it. LOL.

It would mean the world if you all went there, read and commented. We are all community, so please share your feelings.

Thank you for the positive nudge of inspiration 43 things buddies!

http://inventionofmsbordeau.blogspot.com/

I’m on a mission. A mission to be better than I was today, tomorrow. I know, I sound like a damn infomercial. But it’s true. I tend to dwell. I’m a dweller in the land of negativity. I always remember, with such vividness, the shit that went wrong. But the good things? Well, they remain clouded by the bullshit. Its time to do something different. To make a conscious decision to be better. To take care of ones-self the way i do others. And I no longer feel that’s selfish. I use to believe that putting my needs above those I love is the most selfish thing I could do. But now that I reflect, not putting my needs in the forefront has left me picking dust off my face. Because while I’m worrying about everything and everybody else, my needs are leaving me on the side of the highway. And who’s come to save me? Anybody? Nope still here. 

So it’s taken my entire life, all 27 years of it, to realize that I must be tended to. Because if I don’t, no one will. 

So here’s my mission (join me if you are moved to). To stop being a people pleaser and conclusion jumper. To make my needs among the most important, and to take damn good care of me. That isn’t impossible, its vital to our personal happiness. And don’t we all deserve a lil slice of that?... 

    Doesn’t it always seem to be, that when u have the best intentions, all the most random, unfortunate and silly series of events build a wall to block your progress. Well I’m staring at that damn wall at this moment. 
   
    I planned my day last night, laid down with such a sense of accomplishment, only to wake up an hour later. I finally settled back in around 4am (yea I know, confident shattered) and tried to think positively. As soon as my clock buzzed and my feet touched the hardwood, I’ve been tripping over bullsh*t. From school to my personal, no one wants to give a gal a break today. But here’s the funny part, it’s only 10am! This day has yet to even begin. 

Hoping to turn these pounds of lemons into lemonade (before I start chucking them at innocent bystanders), I decided to turn to my ideals for the day. After only completing one thing on my list, I honestly feel 10 times better. Being an hardcore realist, it’s so hard to trust optimistic fluff. Hey it goes against all my emo charm! But if it will bring me some good luck, I’ll play fair.
   

   Here’s the list. 
1.Meditate/Pray in the AM-DONE
2.Update 43 things blog-DONE
3.Exercise to JM Body revolution
4.Read (this doesn’t include school work!-DONE (finished a book)
5.Update blogger page
6.Record first YouTube vlog
7.Get school info in order-DONE
8.Pray/meditate in the PM

   Will update throughout the day. I know the list is long, but im aiming for progress, not perfection. 
   
   And if you are reading this and your day is sour too, borrow some of my lemons and get to squeezing. There is plenty of day left to make it sweeter….

After several failed attempts to end my chronic procrastination, I’ve been brainstorming methods to trick myself into getting things done. With that said, I came up with the ideal day challenge.

I will make a daily list of what I would do each day, if life went my way. We all know that life usually goes the complete opposite, but hey a gal can dream.By looking at these things, I can challenge myself to do some, if not all. If I only complete one thing on the list, I’ve made this day that much closer to ideal. Aha! Moment people!

I’m starting tomorrow (famous last words), and will list and mark which ones I complete each day. Hope this helps. Wish me luck!

Upon realizing I’m stuck in a serious rut, I struggle with a way to crawl out it. When life has become an endless season of raining parades, that whole we dig to hide from our unhappiness, ultimately becomes our comfort. And friends my life is currently in the great depression.

    Ive made myself believe “yea I’m not doing anything, but I’m so good at it’. I’ve found that comfort in my daily routine of “I’m gonna start tomorrows”. We all do it. We are neighbors in the Land of denial..

    It always starts the same. Tomorrow will be the start of my new life. I will do all those things I dream off. Sound familiar? And when tomorrow comes, we find some catastrophic (or stupid) reason why its just not possible. And the next day becomes the perfect tomorrow. Until its today once again.

    As I write this, I realize how full of sh*t I am when I say that. Life won’t ever be convenient for me to conquer those plans. I’m the master planner. When it comes to doing those plans, not so much. I refuse to leave this life dreaming of all I could have done while I’m here. I’m sure that would piss off the man upstairs a tad bit.

    To be honest, a magic moment of enlightenment didn’t inspire this post. Frustration of self did. Those endless lists of “to dos” that have yet to be “to dones” is what did. But hey inspiration can happen in the strangest ways. That simple checkmark is enough to keep this up. I guess I’m enlightened after all…

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. Let’s just say I’m the mad hatter when it comes to dieting. I never really know what works, so I end up stressing over each meal, every calorie. And ultimately give up. After the non support of my family and the indifference of my friends, I realize that my success is up to me. It’s my body and i choose how I take care of it. That includes what foods I eat.
My old way of eating was skimp through the day, splurge at night. That has kept my weight at a standstill. I’ve had success with calorie counting in the past and have incorporated it back into my meals.
My new way (as of 2 days ago. No judging!) has been to eat throughout the day. Eating 6 small meals has revved up my metabolism, kept me full and has given me the energy throughout the day that I lacked. I hope to keep this up and believe it will be the key to me moving past the 160 plateau. Fingers crossed….

Their is always a sense of fear when deciding to bare your soul online (Well bare anything for that matter). Any writer knows the ramifications of such efforts. Being invisible is one. The other, being despised. Thats why it’s taken me almost ten years to do this. I’ve always love to write. And put a topic of theatre, movies, music and fashion in my face and I’m all on it. But to actually put it into the world for others to judge can be intimidating. But what tha hell?! Videos about “sitting on the toilet” are getting a million hits, what do I really have to lose? 

The basics? I’m a 27 year old, grad student. An african american female (cue the sad violin), I grew up with very little money or resources. However, Adversity didn’t equal impossibility to me, so i didn’t stop when someone said I couldn’t. I share a b-day with Oprah so I actually feel a tad unproductive. A Bachelors degree? PLEASE. I’m trying to get to the, “you get a car” status, and I’m a few billion behind schedule. 

Ask me of my loves? I could quickly name music by Kings of Leon, Jeff Buckley and Tupac in the same sentence. If we are discussing fashion I will swoon over the style of Ms. Hepburn, Dandridge & Hayworth respectively. You may look at me sideways when talking movies, I will recite Pulp Fiction credits to credits, then skip to Dirty Dancing. And please don’t start me up on makeup (I will never stop!), Nars? MAC? Oh how i love thee? Let me count the ways! 

What can I say, when I love, I love hard. I’m a romantic like that. 

I plan for the blog to be a fusion of all the things above plus more. We will be a little random at times, but that’s life right? I wanted to start blogging for many reasons, and at the top of that list is accountability. I tend to procrastinate my ass off, and by feeling I’m reaching anybody that can relate, I’m not so alone in this. It won’t always be pretty, especially when I start exercising and eating healthy (please turn off the psycho theme!). But it will always be 100% me. Happy b-day AJBordeau, here’s to many more…

I’ve had this DVD program for quite some time&after many months of chronic procrastination and utter unhappiness with my body, its time to quit that talkin and start some action! Ive never been a fan of exercise. Practing dance since a child, I’ve always been able to keep my weight under control without much afford. But the glory years of college brought long hours, frequent trips to the drive thru and about 5 gym trips in 4 years.

Upon graduating from college, I brought about 30 pounds back home with me. I needed to get healthy and fast. Ive always admired Jillian Michaels. She’s that badass that terrifies you, but wish you had the guts to become. I owned her DVDs, and decided to dust them off and use them. I started my 30 day shred journey (with the help of 43 things :)), which challenged me both physically and mentally. I succeeded, became stronger than i ever thought i could be and lost 10 pounds in the process. I felt my inner bad ass emerging.

Then the real world stormed in and blew my new found willpower far away. I now find myself at a standstill, with 20 or so pounds holding on for dear life. One night, in one of my insomnia hazes, i saw Jillian’s Body Revolution commercial. I always wanted a program like this, but wasn’t feeling the insaneness of ‘insanity’ or the annoying pace of ‘turbo fire’. Coming from a fellow JM groupie, ‘Us shred heads are addicted to the Jillian Koolaid’! Jillian’s program is where I find results. I immediately placed my order, received my set and here i am 4 months later, ready to do this. I will loosely follow the diet and will record all my meals on my fitness pal.

I’m tired of just excepting this average body, with constant fatigue and to many illments to name. at 27, I should be in the best shape of my life. I’m ready to let the badass out to play, and my ‘sen sai’ Ms. Michaels has yet to disappoint me. Hello day 1, here’s to not dying…