Upon realizing I’m stuck in a serious rut, I struggle with a way to crawl out. When life has become an endless season of raining parades, that whole we dig to hide from our unhappiness, ultimately becomes our comfort. And friends my life is currently in the great depression.
I’ve found myself on an ongoing merry-go round of “all the things i wanna do, yet im scared shtless of failure”. So I’m sitting here, waiting on my breakthrough/breakdown..
Am i alone? I’m sure i have neighbors in the Land of denial..
It always starts the same. Tomorrow will be the start of my new life! I will do all those things I dream off! Sound familiar? And when tomorrow comes, we find some catastrophic (or stupid) reason why its just not possible. And the next day becomes the perfect tomorrow. Until its today once again.
As I write this, I realize how full of sht I am when I say that. Life won’t ever be convenient for me to conquer those plans. I’m the master planner. When it comes to doing those plans, not so much. I refuse to leave this life dreaming of all I could have done while I’m here. I’m sure that would piss off the man upstairs a tad bit.
To be honest, a magic moment of enlightenment didn’t inspire this post. Frustration of self did. Those endless lists of “to dos” that have yet to be “to dones” is what did. But hey inspiration can happen in the strangest ways. That simple checkmark is enough to keep this up. I guess I’m enlightened after all…