I think that I am going to have to find a way around this. Not sure how….but well….I need to find a way.
AMRandall
following her heart...cuz the mind is just confusedSo easy to do – yet haven’t taken the opportunity. I heard what one friend said yesterday…..and I have put it in my heart as a place of focus. When did I become a distanced friend? Work on getting back to the real me.
Gone to class a few times now – thinking about doing it 3X a week. Mon/Wed/Fri would be really nice. And then perhaps doing the weight training class on the opposite days. I don’t know – but I am falling in love with going to the gym. Hope to make more of an effort to do it more than once a day – and at least everyday. I can feel the difference in so many ways. I drink more water, I sit up straighter, I have a better attitude, I do not get sleepy in the afternoon, I avoid unhealthy foods (sometimes) and feel motivated to keep on going back to the gym. I can see that little bikini body in me somewhere – just have to chisel down and find it!!
I know that I should be spending more time on this one – but I have really committed to doing the things that put a smile on my face and joy in my heart. This Firday will be a big test of that. I hate hurting someone in the process of seeking my own happiness becuase this person often feels left out. But yesterday I heard this person cry out to me that they too wanted to seek their own happiness – and I hope they take that task into their own hands – and out of mine.
I have been open and honest with the two people who tug at my heartstrings. One I have to encourage to hang on, the other to let go. It’s not very fun – but I am working on working on it.
Also – been opening up to some close friends a bit more – which has lifted the pressure off my shoulders a bit. Feels good to let it out. Miss Jenne today. She inspires me.
So, the great thing about getting up for the gym is that I have to be there for class at 6 – it goes til 6:45 – I shower like the water is gonna run out – quick change – fuck makeup and hair – and get in the car – because after the gym all i want is COFFEE. So I make damn sure I have time to stop. 7:18 is the golden time to hit Caribou too because the high school twurps are not there yet. Today they almost beat me. I would have punched one. I hate highschoolers. They DO NOT NEED COFFEE. :) But – I’ve been making it to work ontime. yeah me!
I feel like I am spending less and watching more – trying to get as many things on auto debt as possible so i dont go past due. Getting close!
I am still working on my monthly payments – but have it set up to auto deduct and that is going well! Someday I will be able to contribute more…..someday.
HOLY BAGEEBERS! There is no feeling like making it through your first cycle class at 6am on a Wednesday morning. Joined a new gym today – a community center – that offers some awesome classes. I think this will really pick me up and get me on the workout band wagon. Plus, I drank a lot more water today and was more conscoius about what I had for lunch. All in all – I’m on an upswing.
Today I set a “goal” well a mini goal/reward for saving money and I guess it falls in this category. Once i have saved $150 I am treating myself to a spa day at the Aveda institute.
Thank you ME!
Today I said somet higns that I had needed to get off my heart (again) and although I am not saying anythign new – repeating myself to this one particular person is helping to reinforce some of the values that i want to work on and improve. Thus being honest – even to the point of repition, I am truely becoming the woman I know I am and the human being I want to be.
Holy cows I am slipping – by barely getting here ON TIME.
Today was with good reason – see losing 15lbs.
Bought me a new blend to try at home – I guess maybe it was the type of roast that was ruining the taste – not my lack of skill in brewing.
Looked into joining a 6am spin class today. Am thinking of just DOING it tomorrow and seeing if I like it. What do I have to lose? WEIGHT. haha that’s a good one!
I know we need to talk about this – but it is such a sore spot on my heart that I am not sure where the conversation can go. I should just ask this person to coffee and sort it out. Maybe Andrew was right and him and I could live together. Maybe that wouldn’t be a bad idea. Or heather. Or just move home. Oh, how awful would that be. Way awful. Who knows. Must find resolution before Holidays.
OK -i am starting to slip on this one a little. Back to my alarm problem – when I am simply NOT getting out of bed when I am supposed to. I need to get up up up up up up up on the first one. So hard to get out with a soft warm body beside me – BUT – it is always worth it to get here early. Especially in todays work – must stay competitive!! MUST TRY HARDER.
