Aemorniel

Okay, so here’s a little something I’ve made—or, well remade or whatever. It’s a cover of Coldplay’s Fix You. It’s so not perfect and I’m well aware, but this is sort of how I sound. My voice isn’t perfect to begin with and my recording equipment is garbage so some of the high/low notes (on guitar as well as vocals) don’t really sound as loud as they should (or at all). But you get the picture. Anyway, just thought it was time for me to post something musical here. This is me. Be kind now. 0:)

On SoundCloud:
Fix You

I’ve been thinking and thinking of how to define my goals for this month’s bootcamp, and now I feel like I’ve got it down. It’s definitely time for some discipline and change in behavior patterns.
“If you want something you’ve never had you have to do something you’ve never done.”

Grow (up):
Stop wasting time on internet and TV series/movies
Stop being careless with money – make a realistic budget
Stop procrastinating on tasks I need/want to get done

Bloom:
Apply for school
Prepare to move
Engage in music

What I’ve done:
Stop wasting time on internet and TV series/movies
Moved my laptop to the kitchen where there is no internet connection (so if I want to use the internet, like I’m doing now, I have to move the laptop and the charger and everything into the living room, and then move it all back) and there is no comfortable place to sit (so I have to stand up when using the computer which makes it that much less inviting). The point of all this is to make it significantly harder to “accidentally” waste a few hours on random websurfing or TV series/movies. This will also give me more time to focus on getting tasks done, and less excuses not to.
I’ve also deleted all TV shows and movies that I had on my computer, and sworn not to download any more. I don’t even watch stuff when I eat now (big deal for me!) and it’s alright actually.

Stop being careless with money – make a realistic budget
I’ve started creating my budget by listing my necessary monthly expenses (rent, phone bill, food, insurance…), I’ve never really kept track of that before, not completely. Already I see it’s going to be way easier to manage my money when I know what I absolutely can’t touch. It will hopefully make those moments when I think I have more money than I do go away.

Apply for school
I’ve looked at schools, requirements, classes, courses, application dates, starting times, study grants, and more. On Wednesday I’m going to a student counselling place to ask for help with applying. I’m going to retake what we call “gymnasium” (typically three years of school, ages 16-19) to get my grades up and choose a new speciality, if I can—music (I studied photography before), and then my plan is to apply to music university. I’m super excited about the prospect of this! Even if it doesn’t work out in the end, if I don’t get in to music university, I’ll never again have to think “what if I tried?” and feel like I’m wasting my chances in life.

Prepare to move
I’m planning to move to the small town where my brother and his wife and kid lives. I will have less distractions there, a better chance to study well and keep my focus in other areas too (including music since my baby brother works with music there and has an awesome studio and everything), and I’ll have my dearest brother and his wife who I absolutely love, and my little nephew. I was there the week before last and looked for apartments and schools and stuff. There’s still a lot to be done until I can actually move, but I’ve created a pretty detailed plan and I’m working on it.

I know a lot of smart people, and I know a lot of troubled people. But I don’t know a lot of funny people anymore. And I love funny people. Strong women who laugh at things that could get you down if you didn’t. Strong men who don’t have to make a friendship into something more. People who are sensible and positive. But where are they? Well, I guess I’ll have to find out.