AgentTheDuck

Whenever I write a particularly good story, or I see particularly beautiful manga-styled art drawn by my friends, my heart yearns to be able to draw that way as well. I wouldn’t even want to go anywhere with the ability; just the personal satisfaction of being able to make pages to go with my stories would be FANTASTIC. And I DO like to draw. I just don’t like that ugly pictures are coming out of my hand so far.

The trouble is, it is so hard for me to form habits, especially one such as this where my inner critic kicks in. You see, I am a perfectionist at heart. I can tell myself, “I need to keep practicing in order to get better”, but every time I do something imperfect or think about how poor even my tracing abilities are, I get discouraged. It’s also hard for me to keep motivated…

I know this might not be the right way to go about it, but one thing that does keep me motivated is seeing how good this girl I know is. Her drawings are phenomenal. I hope my style is as beautiful as hers one day. (Also, she’s not a very nice person, which drives me nuts and makes me want to outdo her.)

I’m usually not a competitive person, but I have this urge that I want to be as good as her so I can… just… SHOW HER.

I know that’s not typically a good kind of motivator, but when I think about how much she infuriates me, it kind of does help. And it’s not like I hate her; I don’t. She just drives me nuts sometimes. I think of it more along the lines of a rivalry.

Any advice on other motivators, techniques to excel faster, good books for teaching, any tips really? I know to stay away from Chris Hart books… I’d rather not be able to draw than draw Amerime. Yuck.

I actually don’t know if I can afford Disney World, but… I really want go! Next winter break could be my last chance to not only go on a fabulous, we-don’t-care-cause-we’re-young-and-responsibility-free vacation with my best buds, but also give me the chance to finally meet another best bud of mine. After graduating college, we’re all going be broke (especially me; university)... and once we stop being broke, we’ll probably start… y’know… settling down.

I’ve calculated a really rough estimate of how much I’ll need to save… It’s about $1600, if I go for everything I want to do. (See Cirque du Soleil, have at least one nice sit-down meal a day, go to the parks for 7 days, and have some money for Epcot souvenirs.)

Now I think I have a pretty fair chunk of that already saved, but still… I don’t know what kinds of expenses will pop up and surprise me, so I don’t know.

Another problem is that… if I want to go on this trip and have a pretty good time… I’m pretty much not going to be able to do anything else at ALL… and I don’t know if I can deal with that.

KEEPING TRACK OF EXPENSES:
(will fill later)

MONEY SAVED:
1st paycheck: $90
2nd paycheck: $135
3rd paycheck: $135
4th paycheck: $135
5th paycheck: $137
6th paycheck: $137

Total: $769

I tried to read the whole bible before by going to a website with specified chapters for each day, but I would always forget to go to the site. Now, I’ve set up an e-mail program. I’ll be sent about three chapters a day, in “The Message” translation (this is my first time, so the “plain English” version is the best I think), and in chronological order. I think this will be a successful attempt; I’m pretty obsessive about checking my e-mails. If anyone else wants the link, it’s http://www.bibleplan.org/ .