I'm doing 12 things
Every year it gets harder and harder to stop binging and stick to a healthy diet. You couldn’t even define what I do as “binging,” but I would. I’ve done some calorie counting recently, and found that, during the day, I usually eat a normal amount (around 1500), but add anywhere from 500-1000 calories during the night.
The thing is, that only happens when I’m at home, bored and watching TV with my dog.
I’m sick of thinking of myself as “the fat chick” of my group. I’m tired of being jealous of my thinner, healthy friends. I am REALLY tired of looking at myself in my mom’s photo albums.
I think I’m going to start doing Weight Watchers again. I’ve been on it a total of 3 times, and the most I lost was 20 pounds, but I gained that back in a matter of months. Something about the accuracy of counting makes me realize what I’m putting into my body.
My boyfriend also said something last night that I think may have sparked tonight’s mini-binge. I was lying on top of him, and he said, “you’re big.” Normally he’s really supportive and he says he thinks I should embrace my body the way it is, so him saying that was confusing. He only meant that it was an awkward position. It made me uncomfortable, though.
I’m going to do it this time. It’s going to make me feel better about myself, which will make me more confident, which will improve my grades, enhance my relationships, I truly believe that it will solve everything.
