Great Tales From English History by Robert Lacey
Alaythia's Life List
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1. create my own unique family traditions
3 entries . 201 cheers7 people -
2. digitize my grandmother's photo albums
1 entry . 107 cheers1 person -
3. Transform my arms of mush into arms of steel
5 entries . 68 cheers3 people -
4. stop apologizing for being somewhat of an introvert
1 entry . 95 cheers16 people -
5. Read 50 books in 2009.
25 entries . 17 cheers257 people -
6. post random questions daily and see if anyone plays with me and answers them :)
316 entries . 27 cheers326 people -
7. Write something. Anything. Sentence. Paragraph. Short Story. Novel. Epic. Anything.
20 cheers262 people -
8. live frugally, but stylishly and deliciously
16 cheers20 people -
9. Evolve discreetly into a 1950s domestic goddess
4 entries . 31 cheers49 people -
10. Watch every episode of M*A*S*H ever made
4 entries . 31 cheers84 people -
11. Have the body of an aerobics instructor--preferably without having to actually become one
6 entries . 19 cheers1 person -
12. fly in a B-17
4 entries . 30 cheers2 people -
13. Learn to speak Russian
4 entries . 49 cheers337 people -
14. memorize a book of the Bible
2 entries . 33 cheers19 people -
15. Bring my flute out of retirement
2 entries . 43 cheers1 person -
16. Take 43 Internet quizzes
24 entries . 11 cheers70 people -
17. Ascertain the fate and hopefully, the burial place, of my long lost relative
2 entries . 8 cheers1 person -
18. Post random thoughts, observations, and events of the day...
20 entries . 13 cheers20 people -
19. Try new recipes.
9 entries . 10 cheers117 people -
20. take one photograph each day as a way to document my life.
13 cheers242 people -
21. learn photoshop
4 cheers1,445 people -
22. save a word
1 entry . 9 cheers2 people -
23. Photograph answers to 20 questions about me
4 cheers36 people -
24. read at least 43 of the World's 100 Greatest Books
4 team members . 1 entry . 8 cheers5 people
How I did it: I read. A lot. By putting little scraps of time to good use. I read late at night after everyone was asleep and the house was dark and quiet. I read while soaking in the bathtub and on long car rides and even 30,000 feet in the air on a few plane trips. I checked out books like 1001 Books for Every Mood by Hallie Ephron and made long lists of titles that appealed to me. I have come to realize that there… Read how I did it…
How I did it: I asked! When it comes to finding out who your subscribers are, subtlety does not work well. You can look at your "cheers received" tab to get an idea for who's most consistent in cheering you but that's no guarantee. The easiest way to do it is just to adopt this goal, post a question and see who bites. Some people will tell you they're subscribed to you and others will still lurk anonymously in the shadows. … Read how I did it…
I got this in an email forward and thought it was pretty apt for this goal. I wish I knew who wrote it!
Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god – with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!
Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!
Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was
already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It’s a whole
new life for me.
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered
other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other shit too.
THURSDAY:
Butthole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn’t help being a half an hour late – it took me that long to tie my shoes.
He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny girl to find me. Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine—which I sank.
FRIDAY:
I hate that stupid Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.
Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don’t have any triceps! And if you don’t want dents in the floor, don’t hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition
teacher. Why couldn’t it have been someone softer, like the drama
coach or the choir director?
SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.
SUNDAY:
I’m having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun—like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!


