Gently Alesia




I'm doing 16 things
 
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just post random stuff for awhile (read all 4 entries…)
Like there's any such thing as "random." 3 years ago

::sigh:: I know better than this, I really do….



just post random stuff for awhile (read all 4 entries…)
I just read a Sag horoscope for today. 3 years ago

Warning: Raw Process Stuff Ahead!

This is interesting:


Although you may be even more inclined to take risks and to push yourself toward the outer limits during the next month, you must first overcome a temporary bout with loneliness. Hang tough, for life is about to become more like the adventure you crave.

Loneliness? Could this malaise be loneliness?

Hmmm….

This intrigues me because I’ve seen that when we misinterpret our emotions, we create within us that which is impenetrable to insight and analysis. When I misinterpret my “mad” to be “sad” instead, I’m adding to the serpentine darkness that creates my unconscious desires. You know, the stuff that routinely comes out of nowhere, trips you up and lands you on your ass asking, “WTF?”

Kinda like where I am now—thoroughly demotivated and telling myself I don’t know why…

In short, my unconscious is the locus of the lies I tell myself. So much of my journey of late has been a quest to render that darkness transparent. But I’ve been staying busy enough lately (outwardly busy, distracting stuff)... have I inadvertantly contributed to the locus of the lie by not understanding this general “demotivation” to be loneliness, in truth?

Hm.

I would ask “lonely for whom, or what,” but I think I already know.

My heart aches now.

Ah Eros, it wasn’t you who forsook me. It was I who had foresaken you.

Time to crawl back into this, I see…



give 600 cheers
I'm within 20 of this goal. 3 years ago

But what with feeling so demotivated lately, who knows when I’ll actually get there…. :)



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