Hmm. What to do, what to do. Maybe a nice walk later? :)

I'm doing 3 things
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truly live every day
I want to truly LIVE.

Yeah, we’re all breathing, and “living” but are we really? I want to actually get out and LIVE! I want to do what makes ME happy! I want to forget the past, and forgive those who have hurt me in my past. I want to move on with my life and begin living everyday. I want to not get mad over silly things. I want to smile every morning and get out of bed and shout “thank you jesus for letting me live another day!!” I want to laugh all the time. I want to make a stranger smile. I want to be HAPPY! I want to be truly happy! I want to have a postitive attitude 24/7! If something bad or discouraging happens I want to be able to say “Hey, that’s okay!” Because it could be a lot worse. I want to be myself, and love life everyday. We aren’t promised another second, another minute, another day. Anything can happen at anytime. We don’t realize that a lot of times. I want to take a walk and enjoy the fresh air, and the leaves falling. I want to enjoy it all.

I want to be able to have a close relationship with God
Close relationship with God.

I first asked jesus into my heart in August 2003. I was eight years old then. That’s a pretty young age, but I was so sure that I knew what I was doing, and that I understood who jesus was and what he did for us. I thought it was one of the most mind blowing things. To have someone LOVE you like he does, he truly showed me and I’m sure many others what real true love is. I continued going to church and got baptized a few weeks later.. My mom and step-dad ended up getting a divorce they both stopped going to church, and my moms parents didn’t go, she kept my dad out of my life, and her parents didn’t go and I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere with friends. So I just gave up and didn’t even try to read my bible, I let the devil win. When I turned 12 I moved in with my Biological dad and my granny and she has gone to church her whole life, she’s the ideal christian. I started going to church, I asked jesus back into my heart told him I messed up and I wanted to live for him and no one else. I continued going to church for three years faithfully. Every Sunday, and Tuesday. When I hit 15 I started slowing down, finding what I thought were “better” things to do than going to church. I started hanging out with friends more, and reading my bible less. I haven’t been to church in two-three weeks.. I don’t have an excuse. I don’t have anything, but I do know that I want a close, strong relationship with our father. I just get so discouraged, and I feel worthless. I want to overcome this and live for him. I do want to go to heaven. I honestly do. I just need to work on myself and my relationship with him..

love myself unconditionally
Love myself.

I want to love myself. I want to be able to look in the mirror and like what I see. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. I don’t want to have negative thoughts about myself. I want to love myself not in the sense of just loving how I look but loving my mind and soul. I want to feel powerful and smart. I want to be able to have control over myself and my decisions. I want to feel this almost overwhelming feeling for myself. I want to be FEARLESS.


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