AllisonDiana

Let’s see…

Ryan Gosling, John O’Hurley and JC Chasez (hug! WOOHOO!)

There are many I’ve had awesome opportunities to converse with but no hand shakes or anything. And then others that I’ve just “noticed, and know they noticed me.”

Converse:
JC Chasez
Ryan Gosling
Mario Lopez
Tracey Thoms
Adam Pascal
Kim Coles
Amy Adams

Noticed and know they noticed me:
Quincy Jones
Emmanulle Chiriqui
Stacey Dash (she smiled at me)
Adam Sandler
David Faustino
Drew Carey
Christina Aguilera (I was blocking her car on Sunset..)
Mila Kunis
Wilmer Valderamma
Ashton Kutcher
Topher Grace
Eliza Donovan

I brought sexy back. I feel it in my bones, confidence and joy. Oh yeah.

It’s been a little over 2 years and 120 lbs. I lost an entire person. I may as well have been twins. Best feeling ever.

My boyfriend is allergic. I’m all for him getting shots because I LOVE cats. They are my favorite animal. I think they’re smart, adoreable and they clean and “walk” themselves. Who needs a fish or a bird? God they’re so boring (no offense to those of you out there who have and love their fish and or bird) but hey man, I need to be able to cuddle with it. I’m a cuddler.

I’ve had dogs and cats and cats are fantastic.

So maybe “earn” isn’t as accurate a description as…”borrow”. Cuz that’s what I did.

Love is the toughest, roughest, cruelest but most beautiful thing to ever happen to me. After I met my most recent boyfriend I realized what love truly, deeply was. I know I’m only 22 but I know that I have fallen in love. If I were to try to explain all the crazy feelings and new emotions and things that I’ve discovered about myself it would take 40000 43 Things websites and all the known languages in the world. There aren’t enouhg words to explain this.

Everyone says “when you fall in love, you’ll know”. That’s only partially true. There are times I believed I was in love because it was the strongest emotion I had ever felt..but it still wasnt love. There are also times when people “find” love that was right underneath their nose. They didn’t know it but, they’d fallen in love and had neglected to realize it. But once you come to it…it leaves you in awe. You wonder how something so sweet can at times be so sour.

You’ll be surprised at how much work love is.

At times, you’ll downright hate love.

You’ll discover the true meaning of selflessness.

Love makes you do some crazy things, both good and bad. Just be careful. Everyone has been on this ride but each journey has been different.

I’ve forgotten my point. Love makes you do that too.

I know I sound very idealistic and naiive but, that’s why this entry was written by me, and not you.

There are so many love haters out there that hey, someone’s gotta defend it.

...and I won’t need a bridge or a chorus to do it!

Change your major to FILM for oooh…three hours one semester of freshman year, and you will see it twice. :-)

It’s good.

I just watched Secret Window and though it’s not the best movie in the world, he was great. And I think he’s so unique and versatile that I would love to learn from him. And when I interned at SAG … actually, I’m not allowed to say anything about that but, I found a new reason to love him. In any case, being in a movie, not just with him but WITH him…like, a major part, would be amazing.

Whenever I’m not with him – I think about him constantly. I take my phone with me wherever I go just in CASE he calls me. This isn’t healthy and I wish that I wasn’t so hooked on him.

See the picture? That’s “him” in the background. I was looking SO hot that night – but was he kissing me and holding me and telling me how beautiful I looked? No. Did he notice I did my hair and got all gussied up? No. He was on the phone, talking to everyone BUT me. Had it been ME on the phone, he woulda been doing anything BUT talking to me on the phone.

I just don’t understand.

Well I’ve started the process. I’m super short and petite so the Juniors section usually has clothes that can still fit me. Now granted I’m only 22 years old but come on, some things are just a little on the “middle school” side. So I’ve decided not to buy anything with writing or pictures on it because..well, you can’t wear those to work. Wear less jeans and more pants. Wear heels instead of flats when I’m going out and just dress like I’m not in high school anymore. College spoiled me. LoL. But seriously, it’s time to grow up. It’s hard and I know that dressing like a grown up does not a grown up make but, you gotta start somewhere!

I put this at the top of my list because I think that if I had more confidence, a lot of my other wants would fall into place. Jealousy would receed, speaking louder would improve, emotional independency would simply follow. A lot of the problems I have with myself relate directly to my confidence level. I have no reason to not be confident. I am a good person, I am talented, I am unique, I am a comodity…I am a luxury.

I need to start acting like it.

Hey man, why not? I heard that he still has ‘em and I heard they’re still off the hook. Shut up, you know if I got invited, you’d wanna come with so shuuuuut it.

Let’s just say, I loved it so much, I’m moving there in 3 weeks. You put it together.

It was great! I went for my 21st birthday, I went with my (then new) boyfriend – we drove through the Mojave from Los Angeles and it’s…it’s quite an adventure. Everyone should go there at least once. Stay at one of the big hotels. We stayed at the Luxor for two nights. Before the end of the trip, it felt like home – even though it was a casino. LOL. It’s great..and cheap to stay. If you can, GO!

It was Shazz. I ended up going back to my real name anyway. Allie. Its just a shortening of my actual name but at the end of the day, you can only be you…until the next time you feel like being someone else ;-).

I like to bake, that I like to do. When it comes to cooking, I’m not so inclined. My boyfriend cooks for me and that’s nice but part of growing up includes cooking. And i’m not talking about mac n cheese, eggs or Ramen. I’m talking about things that require preparation. Chicken. Lasagna – meals that include more than one food group. Not just learn to cook and cook, but cook WELL. I want my kids to say “my mom makes the BEST_”. And for them not to be lying. LOL. So hopefully I will learn.

Don’t get me wrong, I have some female friends but only two or three that I really trust. But as it is, they’re all far from me. They dont live here. What I want is a group of “girls”. We go out together, we’re there for each other. We’re hot and we don’t need a party to feel like we’re alive. I’ve never had that. But I’m moving soon to a great city and I’m 22 years old. I want that.

Some black friends would be nice. YES I am black (I’m the black one in the photo and yes I know i need to pluck my eyebrows. Thats for pointing that out.) but I have always lived in white neighborhoods and yes, I sometimes feel like I dont belong when it comes to black girls but I’ve learned that there are no people like your people. It’s important to be open to all people but there is something about being around people that are like you (especially for minorities) that makes you feel at home. So some black friends would be nice. Anyway. Thanks for reading.

P.S. These girls are my old roommates. Yes they were nice but I doubt we woulda been friends if we weren’t roommates.

totally changed my life in every way. There is so much to say about this whole procedure and what it does to you physically and mentally that I would never stop writing so if you want to talk about it, by all means, send me a msg!

Finally. may 18,2006 a date that will live in infamy for as long a i live