Altermoose

I wish I was “normal”-looking.
I’m sure things will be better then.
My SO says I shouldn’t think of myself as abnormal.
But I do.
This morning I was thinking, what if I just walked around today pretending I was normal looking?
All I’d have to do is not look at my reflection.
And no-one else knows what is going on inside my head, so if I choose to think that way no-one else will be any the wiser.
Maybe it would make me feel better, or act differently.
Maybe it’s good practice for believing that I will be normal eventually.

I had to agree to dinner, but only because my OH is coming too. We will just have to all pretend to be nice to each other.

Then this morning I get pestered by PF2, who wants to meet up and keeps throwing date after date at me no matter what kind of excuses I make, so end up having to provisionally agree to lunch next Fri (on the same day as dinner with PF1).

I don’t want to do either of these things particularly, because I am upset with both PFs for things that it would upset them to be upset about, but am going to have to go to avoid them thinking that I’m upset with them and then lie about being upset and argh. This was supposed to be quiet time for me. I don’t want to be with all these people, especially not the irritating/upsetting ones. But if I don’t go then it’ll mean more arguments. So will just have to grin and bear it I guess.

I feel like my life is being hijacked by my problem friends. Sigh.

some fancy Italian thing which was basically deep-fried cheese, and an entire pizza with pepperoni and red chillis. The whole lot of it was lush, it’s absolutely no wonder I’m addicted to food.