Well, I didn’t get into grad school and I decided I no longer want to pursue an academic career. It’s a bit too stifling for me. But unfortunately, I can never really decide what I WOULD want to do (besides creative pursuits that won’t really keep me fed and sheltered). So instead of looking for a job immediately after graduation last month, I gave myself some space and freedom to do whatever I felt like. I am so grateful I can afford to do that for a while because of my family.
But anyway, it has been the most amazing month ever. One thing I really need to work on is my social life though, but that will come in time once I get myself out into the world again. But I do have a few friends that I went to a couple of concerts with and vegan events, and I love them so much! All of that stuff made me really happy. But most days I just stay in my room by myself and work on things, just whatever I felt like. I worked on my French and computer programming skills a bit at first. Then I started a vegan 1-minute video channel on YouTube. I also started putting together a jacket made from old jeans I would have to throw out soon if I didn’t find a use for them. And most importantly, I’ve been playing my guitar a lot (hoping to take lessons again soon because I am a bit stunted in my skill building)... but I actually covered someone’s song whom I really admire, and they loved it! I am also nearly done with my first three original songs, which I was never able to do before. I also learned to cook a few cool new meals, like macaroni and cashew cheese, which is SO GOOD!
All that in a month! Wow! I forget how short of a time it’s been but that is really good. Anyway, I will probably continue to work on all of those things, except maybe the jacket, because it turns out gaining sewing skills from the ground up and doing a complex project isn’t as easy as it sounds!
But today all of those random activities paid off. I was thinking about all the stuff I love and spend my time on, and I remembered Guide to Good—the nonprofit that I’ve wanted to start for the past 4 years. And I figured out that my calling is to make this, as a website that inspires people with meaningful art, events, people, and organizations, in addition to helping underprivileged people find their way to make their mark. Eh, I’m not sure, but I feel really inspired.
I’ve enjoyed this so much that I think I am going to continue this freedom indefinitely by getting a crappy job at a shop or something, that will not require extra thinking when I go home. (I really don’t care about luxuries so I’m good with a minimum hourly wage. I literally just need rent, food, and internet!) Then I am going to work on all this stuff until it pans out. Something may change at some point, but I am not going to worry about it now in this moment!