AVA

After having left the rabbits outside last night they have made there way under the yard, i’ve a huge amount of burrows in the garden and it’s fun to see my animals having fun being natural. Although i’ve not got an animal sanctuary in the traditional sense of saving animals. I do have 10 that i nurture and care for, who without me would be shipped off to a shelter themselves. It’s my duty to protect and look after them which i do and i intend to expand the accomadation i have for them when my finances increase in the coming weeks. As soon as my business has a sustainable income, i will consider helping with adoptions and rehoming. This will be the way in which i can setup an animal shelter. I can also pave my yard to allow for more adoption of other animals and enclose the top of it where possible. I would like to concrete the yard then put gravel over it so that it still looks pretty rather than just have it look unsightly without the grass. I’m sure there are many different gardens, without grass which look equally attractive.

Amazing book for personal, spiriutal and healing development. Runs contrary to what you have been told about what makes a personal happy and successful etc…written by a wise man suffering with cancer who is also a psychologist and philosphist. GREAT READING. I often compartmentalize my time. I’ve now learnt that savouring each moment of the day and engaging in all aspects of my life and charactor is important now, not putting aside me time or time for my relationship, but in engaging fully in the chaos of life. Understanding that nature isn’t still it’s moving, it has seasons and that balance is transitory and then comes the storm. That this is part of life and should be embraced.

• I am feeling grateful now that my boyfriend put the lights up in my house. I’ve been waiting for theses for ages. I’m so glad he took the time to help me.
• I’m grateful that my animals are running around the yard enjoying themselves having freedom outdoors
• That my boyfriend has invited me out to our friends house this evening to have a drink together
• Thankyou for these amazing books i’m reading at the moment learning how to truly live in gratitude.
• The feeling of happiness i felt this morning that my boyfriend helped me do something i’ve been wanting to get done for ages.
• My message from the owner of my horse i’m in the process of buying checking with me dates for transport
• My friend for supporting me and giving me advice and help with my life.
• This is now my top goal as i’m content with my life in many ways. The only other thing i’m waiting to arrive is my horse this month and my cheque for 10k! Fingers crossed :)
• I’m really lucky i have clients now emailing me and talking to me about what their requirements are. To have an email out of the blue the other day with a client request was great!

I’ve asked, believed and received emotionally. I know the 10k is on it’s way to me. Of course my actions in the next two weeks can produce results of 10k, but only god and the law of attraction can bring it into my life, not me. I can put in the effort on my business, the results though will be entirely down to the universe! The £10000 is on it’s way in the form of several cheques. I know i don’t need to worry about how it’s going to happen as the universe is conspiring to help me. I’m so excited about this! I will let you know when they arrive! One client could give me that as a deposit so it’s not in any way inconceivable. I’m 100% commited in my faith that it will arrive by fax or in the post as requested. This money will be in my bank account! I’d prefer this week, but we will see.

I intend to wake up reasonably early, prepare for my day enjoying a relaxing shower and pampering myself a little. I am then going to be having a cup of tea and breakfast whilst i read a little of my book. Perhaps going with my boyfriend for breakfast at the cafe rather than eating in. I will clean out my rabbits which haven’t been done and live in the moment experiencing all i can right now in the present!

I intend to think good thoughts and attract good things into my life and make sure my feelings are on the highest frequency they can be. I intend to go down to the local b & q for a walk also to buy some lightbulbs and look at paving slabs. At the end of saturday i intend to wind down watching a movie rather than go clubbing although i’ll make sure that i fit a little dance in so that i can be fit.

Next i need to go see the stables where i intend to keep her, i am going to do this at the weekend providing my boyfriend would like to come with me or my friend as a nice walk out. I hope that seeing where she will stay will attract my intention. Not only that i’m going to contemplate a cash loan to send some money accross this month to the current owner so that i can make sure i secure her fully. I still have £1400 to pay. This for me is a months living expenses so i’m reluctant to hand this over as of yet. Although depending on how my business does this week i’ll make sure that i contribute some.

• For the three books i’ve bought myself on manifesting goals, the secret, the healing power of belief and a book on self healing. I’ve really enjoyed reading the secret today.
• Making love to my boyfriend this morning. We have been so passionate together the last few nights. I’m feeling much more connected with him as i start to become more understanding and have total faith in our relationship, attracting only beauty into it.
• Listening to new age music today was out of this world as i was in the kitchen making a morning cup of tea! How grateful i am for my tea in a morning, it peps up my day.
• Spending time with my house rabbit making sure she feels loved and letting her run around in the kitchen on a new rug i have placed down for her which my friend gave me.
• Speaking with my close friend about my problems, helping each other and commiting to be there for one another through this difficult time.
• Recognising that my life is so beautiful. I have an amazing home, my boyfriend i love with all my soul, animals which surround me bringing life to our home and soul, my business which is manifesting amazing things for me as i speak to new people, for my health, i’m feeling on top of things and for my fabulous emotional guidance system which lets me know if i’m off course and what i’m doing well in my life.
• Speaking to my dad and my little brother this evening as they were cooking pizza together.
• Helping my mum the other day find some information on her ms.
• Dancing in the kitchen last night with my boyfriend to electronic music and having a debate and gaining new depths of understanding about each other.
  *Letting go of the bad stuff and focusing on what i want to attract into my life.
• The email this evening from one of my clients in response to my call.
• The feeling of total gratitude for every aspect of my life, my body, my relationships, my finances, my friendships, my environment.
• Last but not least, my developing relationship with god as he radiates through my life bringing peace, contentment and serenity.

Really panicking today about things. Had a meeting that i couldn’t face as i’m under so many financial pressures at the moment. My good friend tried to comfort me but i only ended up feeling more distressed about everything. Actually getting on the phone and making the calls is the only thing that made me feel good, like i was doing the right thing. I’m really grateful for my business and the oppotunity i have ahead of me. Using the law of attraction (aka the secret), i’m going to practice manifesting my clients and wealth into my life. Of course this requires action on my part, but faith is a huge part of what i’m trying to use to achieve my goals. Next week, ideally i would like to get one contract in daily. 5 per week would sort out all my financial problems i currently have. I managed to get one person interested in 10 minutes of calls today and have sent an email to them.

The only issues i have are my finances, and that i do want to be more aligned with my career goal that i have in mind for my future. Currently though, having a beautiful home, some great friends, a relationship with a guy i love deeply, some fantastic animals for company!, a business which i can make extremely successful if i want to, i’ve not much left to desire in the world. I’ve fulfilled alot of my needs with the things i’ve achieved in my life. I still have great goals, but i’ve reached a point of contentment within myself in this situation. I’m grateful for what i have in my life.

If my boyfriend does something wrong in our relationship, i’m afraid i wont be able to continue with the relationship because i’ll be so hurt. Perhaps it is not so much about trust but more about knowing that i can handle anything that arises in our relationship and knowing that i love him enough to work through any issues we have. I think it’s more important for me not to acknowledge that no matter what my boyfriend does is out of my control and that i can in no way influence his decisions. However, i can know how i would react in any given situation. I’m scared of trusting him as if he did and then broke my trust i’m afraid i’ll not be able to handle it. I think that i can trust him.

I just need to be able to trust more in myself that i can handle anything that comes up and it wouldn’t be the end of the world if my boyfriend made a mistake. We are only human afterall. I think it’s important to respect human nature and no matter what the other persons intentions there is always the possibility that something can go wrong in the relationship. I guess i need to broaden my perspective a little so that i can be more tolerant of human nature and realize if my boyfriend messed up, i wouldn’t dump him immediately and write off our entire relationship, i would be very disappointed and we would work through it and perhaps other rules would come into the relationship to stop anything bad happening again. I don’t have to think that i would throw everything away with him. I just need to realise nothing bad has happened and trust that i can handle the situation if anything ever did. Trusting is more about trusting that you can handle something the other person might do which would hurt you, rather than giving away the control to the other person. I’ve reframed my perspective on this a little to make things easier for me as i do get jealous and have a high level of fear for the unknown within me.

• Sorted out my contact lenses, got replacements and ordered some new ones which arrive in June
• Booked an appointment to have a fitting done
• Bought 3 books on belief and mindfulness and healing
• Helped a blind man with directions who noone else stopped for.
• Talked to a stranger on the bus
• Spent time with my close friend
• Had a bbq
• Walked my friends dogs and ended up falling over in the nature reserve!
• Worked on the business- turned around a not intersted client after a long conversation
• Spoke to my business partners
• Made cumberland pie for tea
• Had a debate with my boyfriend about time and space
• Made love to my boyfriend which was passionate and sensual.

Woke up today after a really bad dream that my house was flooding with poison and my boyfriend was seeing his ex girlfriends and saw me as only a friend. Really upset me and put me in a foul mood. It’s now 13:33pm i’m going to start my day now but i’m disappointed that i’ve not got futher!

I need to be accutely sensitive to what my body is telling me is important today.

1.Today i feel that it is important to get my rabbits cleaned out.
2.Send off my cv, apply for day jobs as a fall back plan- enquire about benifits outstanding.
3.To make some calls and follow up yesterdays leads
4.To fill out my journal to document my life
5.Get a printer cartridge in town and take in bank documents and id.

I’m gradually cleaning my house. I’m not working on it on a particular day now, i’ve decided it’s better to contribute a little cleaning effort each day in various rooms, so that i don’t feel overwhelmed. For example i imagine rather than do the entire bathroom, just the sink, then the toliet and then the bath. Breaking down tasks in such a way makes for comfortable living.

It did help and i feel better for going back to that uncomfortable place in my mind and dealing with it successfully. It helps to be in a place of comfort, like my home when i’m dealing with painfully aspects of my psychology and my life. I’m quite proud of what i achieved today. My friend thinks you shouldn’t be proud it’s a sin against god. I’m aware of that comment today, but i think that it’s important to recognise when you have made progress in your life without being egoistical about it.

Running my business from home, i deal with businesses everyday that need my help. I feel priveledged to be helping them. It’s throughly rewarding and i enjoy the associated admin work that i’m doing for them as much as the long conversations i have with them about their current circumstances. It’s good to be able to solve problems and come to win win solutions with people.

I’m also contributing more selflessly to my friends, i’m going out with my friend this weekend even though i’m exausted for her sake as i know she wants to see me and it’s important to me that i’m there for my friends. My other friend has invited me to a bbq tommorow which i’ll attend and again i am helping him with his current financial position by means of giving him a role within my company.

I also like to think that i contribute something of value in my writings. I love journalling so much and it means so much to me to be able to help others. I watched a program today on something of importance to me in my life and realise that through my experience i can help heal others and i love to use my pain for the purpose of growth in other peoples lifes and also to help guide others in a direction of integrity, that helps them become all that they are in themselves. I think that it’s important for people to be true to themselves and to contribute meaningfully in life.

The rave we travelled to at the weekend was amazing. I met a lovely girl who was of similar charactor to myself and we had a great time dancing bare foot,as per her recommendation! We talked about going to other clubs across the city and i throughly enjoyed dancing with a close friend of my boyfriends. Meeting new people was uncomfortable at first, i felt quite introvert and alone, but as the night went on and i opened up, i throughly enjoyed myself. I haven’t managed to find this girl on facebook i met. I hope that i’ll bump into her again as there are great communities at raves, it tends to be the same group of people who turn up time and time again.

It took me four hours preparing and by that i mean reving myself up psychologically for work. I’ve been in fear about running my business about succeeding actually, rather than failure, what will i do when i am successful, how will i handle it, what will change. I’ve got over this now and i’ve realised i’m starting to look forward to working for myself each day. I’ve stopped demanding so much of myself and set my priorities. My only priority is to work hard each day calling prospects at my own pace. I’m not focusing on what i’m doing, but more on the psychology i’m in and making sure i go through the motions to produce the results by default.

I’ve done with making plans. The best thing i’ve managed to do so far is have a blank chart on the wall and add all the things i’ve actually “done” throughout the day. This way i feel like i’m achieving. If i dont’ set myself a goal i can’t fail, every little enhancement to my business is a success. I often set unrealistic expectations of what i can get done in a day. I’ve now realised if i just get one or two important things done in a day, in the space of a week i can complete everything outstanding. It doesn’t all have to be at the same priority level! Anything that can wait should wait and i should do what i must do now.

As for today’s achievements. After four hours of getting ready, being up and in the shower at 8:30am and finally ready by 12:30am. I got my head down and started calls without the worry that i was going to run out of time. It was a good feeling working at my own pace. I managed to get all my work done within about four hours. After a couple of calls, i generated a potential client. I emailed him documents on the services i offer and managed to complete some of the other outstanding documentation that i have been wanting to do for awhile.

My contact management system is absolutely fabulous and i’m feeling on top of things knowing that my call backs pop up at the set intervals i request. I’m really excited about waking up early tommorow and generating some more hot leads. It’s such a rewarding feeling working for myself. I feel so abundant in every way and i’m really grateful to god for my many blessings.

It was good to speak to one of my best friends today. He is struggling with finances and we have agreed to partner up to get some work done. I am going to his house tommorow to make some calls and show him how my business works so that he can help himself sort out his finances. I don’t have time to make money to help him, but i can contribute by giving him my business as a model to make his own income. He is very grateful for this as i’ve told him he can keep whatever money he makes, not just a cut.

I’ve emailed the solicitors today to ask them for a copy of some terms and conditions from a similar business. I’m not sure that i’m allowed to use the same terms, so ive asked them to draft me some based loosely on what i’ve sent them. Obviously i don’t want to be in any way legally in trouble regarding copyright laws. I’m not hugely familar with whether these cover general t&cs. I’ve still got one more document to do tommorow and then i’ve entirely completed what i need to literature wise. This is exciting for me as i’ve been meaning to do this for ages.

Another thing to note, i prayed before i started my calls today. I thanked god for 5 beautiful things in my life, for my cozy home, my animals, my loving relationship, my amazing friends and for wonderful oppotunity before me and for the skills i have which will enable me to succeed. Today my moral was great as soon as i got on the phones. I feel so elevated when i’m doing the right thing in my life. Getting what’s important done and out of the way even makes me feel like i’ve got so much more time in the evenings to relax!

Getting priorities straight is really important to me at the moment as i have so many pressing concerns.

Today for me my main priority is getting my business phone calls done. Whatever else i do, this is the most important thing to me.

Secondly i want to get my cv sent off for jobs. This is really important to me as i need to have a fall back plan set in motion.

Thirdly today i would like to get the rabbits cleaned out, atleast there trays, if not fully scrubed down.

Fourthly i would like to get the kitchen cleaned up.

Everything else can wait until tommorow.

Better than the usual 3am, but still needs to be midnight at the latest. I need to start going to bed at 11:30pm to read so that i can get sleepy. I need a kind of ritual with this else i’ll never do it. It’s now 08:52am and i’m showered and it’s probably going to take me another hour before i’m ready to start making calls. I’m excited about the prospect of getting on with my business today. I also need to get some cvs’ sent off, so that i can have a day job to run along side what i’m doing.