Grace

ugh. I really want my nails. I’ve been biting them every since I can remember. part of my anxiety problems I’m sure. sigh I got acrylics put on once, and that helped, but I guess they weren’t that great of quality, because after 5 days, 2 of them broke, and I ended up taking the rest off. but at least I got to experience having them. (that’s them in the picture. pretty, huh?)

I can’t say I’ve really ever tried very hard to stop. but now that I’m 16 and getting older by the minute, I want them more than ever. I don’t feel like a girl without nails, and I want my femininity. to make this goal more specific, I’d like the have the tips of my nails grow out beyond my fingertips by… my 17th birthday (October 16th). is this a realistic goal?

well, good luck to everyone else trying to succeed at this. please comment me if you have an true blue fool-proof ways to stop biting, and to get them to grow once I do.

much love,
—Grace

ok…. this is the first, last, and only time I will post my actual weight anywhere, on the internet or otherwise. currently, I weigh (somewhere around) 245 pounds. sigh

I’ve been heavy ever since I was a child, starting at about 6. I had an abusive childhood and an enabling grandmother, so I pretty much ballooned over the course of 2 years from a normal child weight to being 220 pounds at 8 years old and 4’6” tall. the lowest weight I’ve ever been since then has been around 175, and I felt great. but I got there by having an eating disorder, and now that I’m clean I want to do it the healthy way.

I’ve already done quite a few things this month to really start doing it: I’m drinking more water than I usually do (not enough, but more). I’ve cut sodas out of my diet except for maybe 1 or 2 a week when I’m out at a restaurant with my family. I’ve never been big on candy or chips or any of those notoriously bad foods, so that’s good. I’m taking a 20 minute walk every other day around the neighborhood right outside my apartment complex, and doing stretches to keep my flexability the other days. and last but not least, I’m eating a lot of healthy foods in GOOD PORTIONS, which has always been my problem.

Overall, I think I can do this. hell, I’ll do you one better. I KNOW I can do this, and I’m pretty damn sure that once I get started and on a roll, I’ll lose more than the 50 pounds I’m aiming for by Christmas. who knows? I might lose all 100! but for now, to make sure I don’t go overboard, my goal is 50. even that amount would make me look, feel, and act like a completely different person.

confident as I am, I know I’m gonna need some support to make this happen! so if anyone has similar goals, or if you just want to help me reach mine, feel free to comment me!

much love,
—Grace