Amithereyet

I’ve recently had some experiences where “winging it” was probably not the best way to go. Preparing for something provokes anxiety in me, which is ironic since the function of preparing is to help put ourselves more at ease and increase the likelihood of a positive outcome when we find ourselves in an expected situation like a test, or an unexpected situation like an emergency of some kind. I want to get over my preparedness avoidance and prepare to get more of what I want out of life.

I’ve recently had some experiences meeting admirable people. When I thought about what I admired about them, it came to me that they seemed to be impeccable in areas of their lives that really mattered, and they were constantly working at being that way. When I was younger, I tried to be “perfect,” which didn’t work out all that well and made me crazy, I think because I was doing it more to affect what other people thought of me than because it was a lofty personal goal of some kind. So I gave up the whole perfectionist thing, in favor of a more sane, balanced and do-able life. But I now think that somewhere in there, the baby went out with the bath water—I gave up improvement for improvement’s sake. I think having impeccable standards is an admirable goal, so I’ll give it a try.

I set this as a goal for 2006, and managed to get as far as the Psalms. I’m going to finish the OT in 2007 (and I still have Isaiah to get through!).