Amoureux

of a tattoo.

A permanent piece of beautifully crafted artwork on my canvas.
A reminder of all my times, tough & rough, easy & breezy (and beautiful!).

Tattoo’s are gorgeous works. For me to build up the courage and strength for something more than a temporary tat would take, I don’t know, a very long time, but I’m positive in the end it’ll be worth it.

Absolutely worth it.

I can’t wait.

So it’s selfish, it’s greedy, it’s completely unrealistic.
But it’s also what keeps me going when I wake up.
The thought of being able to lead a perfect life, the life I’ve always dreamed of is always right next to me, pushing me onto the journey of life.

It’ll never happen, dreams are for the foolish.
I’m a fool.

Explain to me. Explain what happiness is to a teenage girl.
I live a normal life.
I keep up with grades, I go out to places.
Why am I not satisfied ?

Has the life I’ve been leading been too normal ?
That is what I’ve been trying to figure out.
I should be happy, but I just can’t seen to figure out how.
But I’m going to get over that.

I’m going to do something.
I’m going to volunteer, to take classes.
I’ll do whatever it takes to be truly, fully happy.
The twisted thought of happiness haunts me.
The look you see in pictures of smiling people, compared to what I see when I look in a mirror devastates me.

So I’m going to give this a shot.