AngelSpirit

$#. I’ve been biting like a motherx%x$#&^!. I’ve been so damn stressed. Finally I’ve managed to cut down to a six day work week, but I’m still tired with only one day to catch up on my sleep, and work has gone into overdrive with tax season. So I’ve been letting myself do it. I don’t care, it’s a way to torture myself to cope with being angry about how much I hate my $&@($% job. The more unhappy I am, the more I bite.
$*x%x. I can’t chew gum again. I’m not even going bother with lipstick because I hate it and think it’s stupid. I feel like if I don’t bite, I’m going to just EXPLODE in anger at work. It’s already all I can do to not walk out. And what am I going to do? I’m not able to express that anger at work. So I hate myself for being there and I direct that anger inward.

I hate that damn job.

The batting cages are great for getting out some aggression, and great for learning something new. I’ve been working on batting left and now I’m pretty good. Especially considering how when I started I couldn’t even figure out what the heck to do with my arms; I had to look in the mirror just to see what I was doing when I’d bat right.

But since I’ve been switch hitting and doing well, I’ve started thinking about finding a softball team to play with. I think it would be good for me in a lot of ways, and really cool to be an extra valuable team member. I guess next I’d have to work on catching!

Soy hot chocolate – with whipped cream.

Cereal with almond milk for breakfast. Cheese quiche for dinner.

Chai with soy milk at work. Veggie burger with mayo and cheese for lunch.

It’s less dairy. But everything I eliminate at this point is less dairy.

I’ve stopped eating yogurt and that’s a big deal. I switched to Trader Joe’s soy yogurt, and while I feel good about making the change, it’s a definite loss. I miss Yoplait.

I’ve been drinking the Chai instead of having the occasional coffee with cream, and I like that change. The Chai is so much more satisfying, with its aromatic spices and pleasant taste. That switch was a big plus.

And the cheese sandwich I just had was made with fake cheese and fake mayo, and I couldn’t tell the difference one bit. And this way, I don’t feel any kind of guilt about having big ol’ globs of extra mayo. Mmm, fake mayo, another plus!

If I just keep replacing more dairy with more delicious non-dairy, maybe one day I’ll wake up and discover I’m Vegan. One day.