Anne

go watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=t5jw3T3Jy70

so when do you start crying on the emotional scale? ;)

Just got back from Focus Weekend :)

I adore being with so many Christians, God’s presence was so.. tangible. you can’t help but be amazed when you experience that. :)

I’m also very very tired so I’m off to sleep. I may or may not write more about the weekend later. nighty night. xx

1. last week I was on holiday with a group of friends, and at one point I leaned unto a boy’s shoulder, and then he kissed me on my head. I thought it was really sweet :)
2. my housemate, who is like a sister to me. I love how she runs into my room whenever she’s bored, I love how playful she is and that I can be myself around her. I love that she sends me random text messages and how she lifts my mood with her light-heartedness. I’m also grateful that she drags me along for things and that she forces me to have dinner.
3. music, oh how I love music. I love it because it connects to my soul and it expresses my emotions for me when I can’t.
4. photography. same as music really, another way of expressing, not just emotion but the soul. I love seeing people’s work.
5. I am grateful for my senses. that I can feel the wind blow through my hair and that I can feel the warmth of the sun, the taste of sweet fruits and the feel of my skin when it touches someone I love.
6. I’m grateful for hugs and kisses
7. last week I was so happy because I went to bed in a house full of people and all of them were friends. it reminded me of old times, when me and my sister were little and we would have sleepovers at our cousins. I am meant to live with other people! sleeping alone is not good for me, it makes me lonely.. it’s just the little things really, that there’s someone breathing in the same room as we go to sleep, saying goodnight to each other, sharing thoughts before we drift off to sleep. and ocasionally jumping on eachothers bed :P
8. the softness of the summer air when it cools down in the evening and it’s still kinda warm and.. soft :)
9. newfound purpose in life
10. my housemate (again yes) because she dragged me along to go running and we baked cake and had tea and played a game.
11. random gifts. my sweet friend IS gave me two decoration hearts, just because :)
12. when I was at IS’s house, her dog decided to place himself on my lap. well, the front of him, because the rest of him doesn’t fit on my lap :P but it was sweet and I got to cuddle him. IS calls him her living teddy bear. :)
13. the color of the sky and how it keeps changing, from crazy bright orange to soft pastel pink and hazy blue.
14. wet spider webs
15. I was running with my roomie and this woman greeted us when we walked past her. She was islamic, and it was the first time an islamic woman greeted me, I’m so used to them keeping to themselves, but she actually made eye contact and smiled and said hello. it made me smile :)
16. beautiful mixed-blood children on the bus. how gorgeous they were, and sweet :)
17. I was watching over de streep, the Dutch version of if you really knew me, and I cried and cried. gosh I’m so emotional. I guess I have a big heart and that’s hard because it breaks and breaks.. when I see someone in emotional pain I am just a big wreck :P but I am very grateful that my heart’s not turned to stone.
18. flirting with a farmer guy on his tractor :D hahahhh
19. cycling through nature, watching golden hour
20. my mum sent me photos of my new nephew (well my cousins son) Emil. so cute :D
21. talking to a friend on facebook.
22. youtuberepeat ♥
23. skins
24. energy!! wut. I didn’t even eat proper dinner (shame on me) I only had some veggies.. :):)
25. I got into Pottermore!!! YAY :D
(my sister actually called while I was frantically inserting random numbers times 35 cos I didn’t have the book with me, and I cut her off and made her go up to my room and look for the answer in the 3rd book :D hahah)
26. increased contact with my mother
27. having a sister
28. watching all the Harry Potter films with my sister
29. trying out new recipes
30. tea ♥
31. running (I mean sprinting) in nature
32. family support. esp. my lovely aunt :)
33. the asian supermarket. me and AA (my housemate) were getting ourselves food coloring and stuff like that. and we wandered about the store and I was just amazed at all the mysterious stuff that they sell. I was exclaiming things like “I have no idea what all this stuff is, I love it!” :D they really sell cool things :) and we found vegetarian gelatin yay :D (which is agar, made from seaweed!! :D)
34. we went and made our own pizza, even the bottom from scratch. yay for messing around with food :D
35. studying so far is brilliant! I enjoy it so much more than first time around :) I’m like, actually excited about literature now!
36. I went to the grocery store in my pyjama pants and wellies. you know nobody really notices or cares if they do notice. I LOVE walking around like that.
37. lots of laughter and excitement with AA and HB :)
38. yesterday was a nice day :) and especially the hugs with my dear friend MV and also EW :) sweeties xx
39. rainymood.com on the background while reading for English. perfect way to focus!
40. me and AA went to the market, bought strawberries, then went and made strawberry jam out of it! yay for home-made things!
41. my crazy, multi-national, and supportive family :)
42. pretty sunset on a warm day
43. on pottermore I got a pretty cool wand and also I was sorted into Gryffindor, hurray :D
44. my brilliant proficiency teacher who is from Ohio, which reminds me of Caiti, haha. she’s just cool and I love having her as my teacher. :)
45. I get to read stories and call it “studying”. how awesome is that :D
46. my friend BK got me some gifts to cheer me up. :)
47. long phone call with my friend RV :)
48. tea party, complete with fancy british tea cups (and too much sugar) and awfully sweet cupcakes :D
49. laughing hysterically, to the point of hyperventilation :P
50. my literature teacher. she said that she thought that I would have no trouble passing this course. She said that I show that I have insight and that I’m not afraid to speak up in class. (I actually surprised myself with that :D). her confidence in me means a lot because this is my hardest subject.
51. my proficiency teacher. she was being so incredibly sweet to me, I mean, she is really kind and considerate towards everybody, she’s amazing. she almost made me cry cos she was being so understanding and kind and also she said that I don’t have to be perfect and that she didn’t see any problems with me passing this course. again, her confidence in me is something I really appreciate.
52. attention, really. or maybe connecting to people.
53. seeing those elephants in the city. the unexpected.
54. AA let me play the sims 3 on her computer while she was out :D
55. watching her sew a skirt.
56. the BEST gift ever. I mean, me and AA bought the best gift ever for a friend. we hope she likes it as much as we do, we’ll see tomorrow!!
57. going for a walk. how it clears the mind.
58. also yesterday when we were shopping I saw a girl I knew. I turned my back to her immediately the moment I saw her. not cos I hate her or anything like that, but because I knew that if I were to greet her we’d have to go and have small talk. I hate small talk. I’m no good at it. it’s stupid cos when you’re not fine you have to lie and say you’re fine. I never know what to talk about, etc. anyway. I said to myself, what is wrong with you, go up to her and greet her. I was in a struggle for a bit when she walked by again. she hadn’t seen me, but I called out her name and she walked back and we talked. indeed, the small talk, but it was still genuine. I showed her what I had bought and she said how cute she thought it was. then we wished each other a good day shopping. I felt so good about myself!! yes I’m proud.
59. also like I mentioned I bought clothes and it made me happy. what the heck is this materialism, but maybe I’m just changing? or maybe it’s cause I hadn’t bought any clothes for SUCH A LONG TIME OMG. ;) maybe it’s just a sense of relieve, that I’m able to afford this again.
60. okay so this is another thing about that shopping day hahah but so the shirt I got has a bunny on it. it’s AMAZING, and before I would have NEVER bought it, because I’d be embarrassed and think that people would think me childish or silly or IDK. but I decided: screw what people might think, especially when it comes to unimportant biased judgement.
61. I went and did a puzzle with RV. seeing her again was good and also just chatting and puzzling together was fun.
62. I made paper cranes for the first time in my life! :o the second attempt actually looks like one :)
63. FINALLY finished that darn essay. it’s crap but it’s finished.
64. spiritual growth and change for the better.
65. walking through a shower of falling leafs, & kicking the leafs that had fallen to the ground.
66. my two aunts came by to help my mama. they’re the best.
67. dad’s improving. or seems to be. I hope so. he still gets on my nerves and everything, and I haven’t forgotten what he’s done, but he’s definately less.. you know.
68. sleep ;)
69. expecting the worst and then having a positive outcome.
70. made a friend in class, which is really nice. :)
71. acknowledgement. that my input is deemed valid and valuable
72. skirts & dresses & twirling around
73. for the first time in my life my mother said that she is proud of me. well she wrote it on my birthday card. first time she ever wrote me a personal message too. (before it was always just happy birthday). SO glad she too is changing in our relationship. this could be good :)
74. celebration and anticipation
75. cheerful people
76. dancing. how come I hadn’t mentioned this! DANCE. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUPEEAjKvrI&feature=feedlik
77. getting things done.
78. horse back riding
79. babies :):)
80. pretty pretty things
81. while waiting on the bus in the evening, and feeling absolutely terrified and anxious and worn out, I looked up at the clouded sky that had formed its dark clouds for much too long, which made all of us feel so gloomy and tired, I looked up and saw the moon shining through. not only that, I saw a rainbow. for the first time in my life. I didn’t even know that could happen. I wanted to take a picture (I had my camera on me), but instead I just kept staring at it. nobody around me even looked up at the moon, but I always do. and now I was rewarded with such prettiness, and the reminder and the meaning of the rainbow: there is always hope.
82. I came home and on my table lay a couple of homebaked cookies, made by AA. wrapped in pretty pretty cloth with a ribbon tied around it :):):)

83. going outside & watching the ducks at the pond
84. new boots
85. I went to the cinema with my sister yesterday, we watched The Help
86. climbing the roof
87. running
88. not being scared by things that make other people freak out (for example cutting my own hair)
89. organising and making things. I took my shoe box and put wrapping paper around it. tadaa, new organiser box :)
90. discovering new things
91. being adventurous :)