So tempted to hit the delete buttons – but I probably won’t.
He’s a pillock. A pillock who never learns – and who would use me for as long as he could.
A pillock who is completed deluded. A pillock who has no interest in seeing reality, in developing or changing.
That ‘woot !’ from March 22 still grates on me – well, more than that, it disgusts me.
The past two nights he’s sent messages after 10 – because that’s when his little reality t.v. show ended. Tonight it ends at 11.10p.m. or something – so no message…well, he’s not needing the entertainment from me.
I’m proud of the way I escaped from his clutches in many ways.
Now, it feels like the door is open…the jailer forgot to lock it…and I could just run out there and be totally free.
But of course, if I did that, I wouldn’t know when he was trying to contact me.
And I want to know that.
But mostly now, I want to be free at last – to face up to the fact that I cannot ever convince him to change. He’s not interested in change. He loves his world as it is, in many ways. It’s a world he’s made himself, and he believes his own fantasy.
Ironically, my ‘friend’ IS happy – in lots of ways. The title of my goal was a fallacy, but I didn’t know it.
Now, when I see ‘2005’ on something – I think ‘that was my lowest point, my worst year’. How things have turned around.
Enough.
Edit: I’ve just realised that I’ve not written in this thread, since March 22…when he wrote that memorable phrase, upon hearing of the death of a woman in her twenties, leaving two very young children behind: ‘Ding dong the witch is dead – woot !’.
It’s rather appropriate that I finish this whole thread on that note.
He has never given a stuff about my feelings – he wrote that phrase on his bloody Messenger, knowing I’d see it.
Enough.
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