AprilBlossom

M (i know who she is) eats normally. and she’s 14. i wish i ate like that wheni was 14. it’s just food please. u won’t die if u don’t eat it. u won’t even feel physical pain. it’s all in ur head (ur crazy messed-up head) and it’s not real. it’s totally mental. u’ve done it fine for these 8 days. don’t obsess over it, just go about ur normal daily life and dnt think about it, even wen u go 2 bed. just go straight 2 sleep without thinking bout it and then wake up the next day and carry on. 1 down only 19 to go!! remember think about M. there seriously is more joy to life than food.

ok…so it’s 8months or so later…i’m a lil bit heavier…who cares…what i’m doin right now (and not too badly) is just eating a normal amount of healthy food on everyday of the wk except friday which is my guilt-free day and that doesnt mean i totally pig out…once i say 2 myself on a friday just eat it cuz u can i no longer feel like eating it so much…so i dont. Anyway guilt-free fridays r working for me, even tho it’s only been 8 days into this thing so far, but considering i’ve had 2 go 2 two buffet dinners i think it’s been quite good. I’m quite proud of myself if i do say so myself! just have to keep it up now, 1 down, only 19 to go!!!

of being fat! 7 yrs ago a 13yr old me looked in the mirror as a uk size 12 and decided to lose a little weight. 7 yrs later i look in the mirror at a uk size 16 gallumphing pig! or something of the kind. 3 stone heavier than when i started out. Anyway i want to lose weight and just keep losing weight and just see how thin i can get and finally fit into all those size 12 clothes that have been waiting for me at the back of my wardrobe for 7 long years. and then lose some more weight so those size 12 clothes are comfortable on me. and that’s it. that’s ALL i want! that’s ALL i’ve wanted for the last 7 yrs. is it too much to ask for?? is it sooo impossible that even after 7 yrs i’m still not there? every january i’m at a higher weight that the previous one. should i just give up already??? i think this’ll be my last try. i’ll give it one last go. and then i will give up. i just have 2 remember that it’s hard, but it’s not impossible. Now is the first hour of the rest of my life.