Atlantia

I got a notarized copy of the complaint sent back to his lawyer last week. Then I got a letter from his lawyer asking why I hadn’t returned the documents. Whatever, lady, just check your mail. Now I just wait for the court to finalize it. In my mind, this is basically done. Just a waiting game now.

The only thing I miss is his parents money. Seriously. My car is old and dying, and it would be nice to not have to pay my own bills. Because that’s how I lived for three years. You’d think it would be great, but for a type-A person like me it was awful. I always felt like less of a person. He was more than happy to be perpetually unemployed and beg off mommy and daddy to pay the mortgage. He usually borrowed about $4k a MONTH from them. I miss the awesome vacations and the sweet perks, but I am much happier overall.

I’ve tried to go to college so many times. They never work out. I most recently tried to go back and finish up my Anthropology degree at GMU, but I just didn’t want to. The work is boring, I’m not interested in the subject matter anymore, etc etc.
Most likely I’m going to wind up getting an associates or something that can give me more earning power. Radiology tech, computer science, something like that. Does that count? Originally I wanted the degree because it was what you do. Then I realized I feel like a failure because I’ve let my family down. Now I know I don’t care about that stuff, or, at least, I shouldn’t. Finishing college means having a degree higher than high school, doesn’t it? Or does it mean a bachelor’s?
I don’t know.

I may have the opportunity to do this, but now I’m not sure. I guess they’re looking to hire, especially younger women to have a more diverse demographic. So when I finally get to stop dreaming about it and start doing it, I’m confronted with the frightening reality of how real this job really would be. I could die. Could I really do it?
I don’t have to decide anything right now. I can’t leave my current job, but would it be so bad if something that was a childhood dream turned out to be just too scary. I have someone depending on me now, what happens to them if I die?