Azura93

Ever since I was little I’ve always wanted to be like someone else. “That really pretty girl in my class”, “that perfect celebrity”, “that shiny supermodel”, I’ve never actually been content about who I am.
I’ve had a good deal of experience’s in my life, living in a foreign country and learning another language, moving to a number of different schools and having to settle in completely different environments and a few negative ones such as being bullied for a number of years, struggling to deal with an eating disorder, etc… but I have learned from and overcome all of them and in a way they have made me a better and stronger person. I’m now 15 and about to embark the biggest journey of my life – GCSE’s, further education and then on to a career. My goals are set and most people are raving about my academic achievements. I’m ready to follow the path of becoming a great and successful individual.
Only, there’s one thing missing. I have a caring and loving family, I don’t have any colossal problems to stress me out and I have a very wide circle of friends; with some particularly close ones to share my feelings with. But I don’t know who I am. This may well be a question that some (particularly older people) would answer with “you’ll learn in time” but I want to know now! How can I go on to be this successful individual if I don’t even know who the person staring at me in the mirror is? This isn’t just a question of curiosity but a necessity! It’s eating away at me and I need to know the answer.
I recently came out of what some people would describe as a “gothic” phase, and have completely changed the way I dress. But I never feel like I’m actually being me. Afterall, the way we dress is supposed to reflect our personality. But how can I reflect my personality when I don’t know what it’s like?! How do I discover who I really am?