BHG

It’s amazing to re-read this goal and realize that it’s been over a year since I broke up with my ex. The event doesn’t feel fresh anymore (as well it shouldn’t!), but still, it feels oddly recent, like it’s just a couple months removed instead of 14 (months).

I still haven’t completed this goal, and I don’t really know how close I am to completing it. For several months, I have had somethng good going on, and so the world doesn’t seem so hopeless!

Unfortunatly, I can’t say half of what I really want to about this subject, because once upon a time, I inadvertently compromized my online anonymity (put simply, I gave out my username to a real-lifer). But what I can say, is that this past year has been huge in terms of me learning about myself, about who I love, and why, and how, and all of that. Through love, I have learned (and continue to learn) what kind of person I really am, and what’s truly important to me. I think all-in-all, it makes this goal much more concrete a thing than I ever thought possible. I really feel like I can call this goal complete in another year.

Meanwhile, I am learning oodles, and also learning just how much farther I have yet to go.

Well, I started this with the inspiration from a guy that I liked…but also because I’ve always written little “ditties” that I never really shared with anyone, because I felt like they were corny, and a lot of them were unfinished.

But…after a major breakup with my ex-beau, and with the secret admiration of my guitar-welding Crush, I started to let my creativity out in the open. I started being less abashed about my songwriting, at least to the point where I allowed myself to do it, and not just write it, but of course record my voice singing my “ditties” and attempting to formulate them to fruition. I wrote choruses, and seriously considered the way a song sounds and evolves and unfolds. I’ve been doing this since at least August, if not July. :)

Anyhoo, the point of this entry is this: I know I can’t sing. Of course, I love to sing, and I guess I can carry a tune, but I don’t (yet?) have a singer’s voice. So…I feel that no matter how polished I made my songs, there would always be something lacking, if they sound like they’re coming from a drowned cat!

Well, I’m getting along with my sister a lot better these days, and she’s always been an excellent singer. Casually wondering, I asked if she would be interested in singing my songs for me, and…she is!

If Sis is interested in singing, I know that my talent for songwriting and the song itself can truly be heard. Now, I just need to pick my favorite, most complete, polished songs and make them really shine before I send my sis the file of me “singing” my original lyrics!

And of note, I just want to mention, though I started with inspiration from a Crush, this has always been something that I’ve wanted to do for myself, and my future fame. As a side effect, if I put this up online (say, YouTube or something), I might also spur the fame-getting of my sister as well. I really don’t know why she didn’t pursue a singing career years ago. Maybe it’s the same reason that I haven’t pursued careers in writing, acting, or the other handful of things I feel I do well…

So…I guess I had accidentally posted this under the wrong goal! This is from aproximately 2 weeks ago…

I know I need to write about all the manifestations that I successfully achieved so…

One small thing that I accomplished:
There was one friend who I felt had been avoiding me. I put it forth that they would make an effort to befriend me, and they did.

Yay me!