Babydue

I want a fling. Something meaningless.. maybe more. Maybe nothing. I just want to have a fling, and I know who with. If it actually happens.. I’ll never shut up.

“Don’t get mad.. don’t get even.. GET ONE UP.”

My ex’s mother called me on friday. She wanted to know if the baby I am shortly having is indeed her grandchild. It is indeed. She made me meet her for breakfast the next morning.. I was so nervous that when she came.. I couldnt even eat breakfast. Her son (the father) is having problems.. and is drinking alot. He doesnt want anything to do with me and never really wanted us to have a relationship were “ex” best friends.. and it weighs heavily on my mind. I miss the old him, but I liked him better before I loved him. Now that she is forcing him to accept the reality of our child.. I can’t help but feel like he is resenting me for it, he will always blame me. I’ll admit I’m still not over him, or the old us. But I really can’t forgive him for the things he has done to me. I e-mailed him and told him we don’t have to be friends, and I dont want a relationship.. so hopefully it will relieve some tension. But I can’t stop feeling like his presence is forced. His mother calls me on his behalf. Now his mother is driving the two of us to my prenatal appointment. I don’t even have anything to say to him, how do I stay calm. He is not the guy I used to have a good time with.. he smokes now.. and drinks alot and can’t even cope with his depression. He won’t talk about his problems, it seems like he’s this whole other person.. a total mess.