Of course, I hope to use it….lol
But, I am on my way to keeping it locked down if need be.
- The Robots.
Of course, I hope to use it….lol
But, I am on my way to keeping it locked down if need be.
The sun is periodically viewable
My house is still standing and dry.
I never lost power
My car inspection will cost less than planned
My daughter and family are safe.
My work is getting done.
I am working to hire the help I need
I am willing to dig hard to find the help I need
My home is warm and cozy
I am living my dream
I am planning my next big project
I will get the b camp off the ground today
I have paid my taxes for the year
I have prepaid my taxes for next year…some anyway!
My kitchen is clean
My bills are all paid
I have money in the bank
I can finance my dreams
I can work in the direction of good and right
I have a very nice, safe car while mine is in the shop
I am heading to the beach this weekend…if it is still there
I am going to contemplate my life in the last hurrah…
Not because of the nature of any investor, but because I did a reality check with my lawyers who concurred with me, this guy had some severe deficits in the area of fair play.
He wasn’t normal. I decided to get out. I got out. Not going to team with two of them!
Great decision. Years of heart ache and heart burn avoided. Was hired by a non-narcisist instead – in the span of that week – and though I will spend the year earning my fees, I believe the relationship will be a good and fruitful one.
I look forward to spending my time and investing my skills with the guy who thought I was underpriced for the services, not needing to earn my equity first. I knew the one for 15 years and he couldn’t acknowledge my value – as he acknowledges that no one has value but himself – and the other – in 5 days hired me because of “my presence”.
It is a good thing. Bye Bye Narcisists. Wow, is it fun and better without you. A much better life.
Oh, and the one who hired me didn’t call my current client. “He scares me.” is what he announced in a meeting about him. Privately, he told me the guy was an arrogant blowhard. He has no interest in dealing with him.
See, a guy with healthy boundaries. Me? These were the guys I was the most attracted to over my lifetime. It was what I knew growing up.
Making sure that I keep the narcissists at bay. It is a better life. Imagine not learning this for so long. What was so wrong with me on this front?
What did I learn growing up that made this treatment OK? Why has it been so hard to change?
I can not imagine how good things can get – and they do – and then they get better – and better – and better
and there appears to be no best, just better.
the finest is topped by the one that comes next.
this is wonderful.
as october comes to an end, and i look to the last two months and how to conclude the year – and ask myself – what did i want from the year and did I get it -
the answers are just so incredible. I asked of life what I wanted -
and it is providing it.
Pretty damn spectacular I’d say.
Pretty amazing way to live and manifest the life you want.
many very good talks.
learned so much
is exactly what I needed
missed a couple of literary events.
made me sad to miss them.
The one where I get out of bed, go on the bike, then go make the smoothie and get work done.
I will repeat tomorrow!
I did it.
If I had thrown in a load of laundry, it would have been perfect!
I acknowledge the dark. He doesn’t like it.
I refuse a partnership – because I can see the partner doesn’t value or support me.
I can see both.
It is ok.
I guess education is supposed to bring compensation…
I find it to be an indulgence.
I earn at a high level – and yet – haven’t never gotten my degree.
I haven’t even come close.
So, what to do? Why does this matter at this point? At this age?
I wanted it for me, not for anyone else. When do I get to indulge in this exercise? I guess this could be a retirement project.
Can’t see how to fit it in at this time in my life.
Like always. Not sure the value it would bring at this point in my life.
The value is for me, not for the universe.
It is internal, not external.
What to do about this? I just don’t know.
Gratitude and Happiness:
- The sun was shining and beautiful weather this week.
- I have slept in this week.
- I have been able to attend the conference I wanted
- A free pass was given to me as a gift for the conference
- A friend called out of the blue to talk
- I was able to stop and see my 93 year old cousin today
- I went for a walk in the middle of the day while the weather was nice
- My love called to talk on his commute home
- I got some of the place in order
- I feel happy as I look toward the end of the year work schedule.
- I am enjoying the newly found excess funding and the ability to pay my bills and get caught up with everything.
- i love my view corridors and deck
- i love how comfy my couch is
- i love the feel of my comforter
- i am enjoying the indian summer
- i am lucky to have the life i do – grateful beyond belief
- i am living my dreams
Finding peace this year has meant truly believing in myself, my work, my skills and talents, and truly stepping up to the role I play in life in order to live in a peaceful existence with myself.
So, I am at peace. The income level is restored after a stormy center of the year… My daughter is back at school, in love and succeeding in her studies… My life has the man of my dreams in it and I am so very happy with him.
My discontent is managing all the work that is now on top of me and to lead, perform and step into myself and my work in a very authentic down to earth manner, while maintaining my professionalism.
I am in peace. going away to think – which is what I need right now. After a slow walk into the work, it is at a full run and a marathon for the next year, or two. Gotta get my arms around it all.
Not storming in nor mousing in…
partly because I try to be earlier so that I can spend time greeting people properly…
and partly because I feel more comfortable in my skin.
getting comfy with my role in life.
about time! I am enough…just the way I am.
I wanted to celebrate with my girlfriend who had been so helpful to me – and to the man in my life who – in some ways – allowed me to consider more work.
But other new relationships have been supporting me…
funny, I went looking for what I felt I needed and got a series of others that found me!
I guess I can be happy with the outcomes. I still long for a mentor, a coach, a guide. I may have that in my new love! Lol
Not where I expected it, but he is lovingly, supportively in that role. As is a new client.
We just celebrated our six month anniversary. Going well and strong. We plan the future. We discuss the future. We are walking in the direction of a shared future.
I am relaxed about it. I am happy about it. We are building the infrastructure for our lives to be together…financially, real estate-wise, and work-wise – starting to walk in the direction of a true partnership.
I am happy. How can you truly meet someone and know on the first date this is someone you want to live the rest of your life with? Still not sure how it happened, but I know I would be happy to do so.
He takes the form of a financial investor. The question: aren’t all financial investors a little bit, in posture, to be accomodated – and doesn’t that appear as narcissism? By nature of the investor/partner relationship, the financial investor attempts to gain the “upper hand” – as capital is king. But I ask the question – once again – why?
Why would this be the case? But it just is. I would like to find the investor who isn’t this way. Partner as equal. Not partner as unequal.
I have really worked hard at this.
I just remind myself what it is that I can do.
And I do it.
It is good.
I managed to book the whole year’s worth of travel and get reservations made. That was a big step.
I got my team on the calendar for the next six months.
More on scheduling. A few misses. Things that weren’t right.
Overall, it was good!
Glad I did this!
Had me focus on what I hadn’t completed on my list for the year and to focus to do that.
about money, work, living spaces, what a big old barn could be, about a gentleman’s farm, about how our lives look like conjoined.
i love these conversations.
they are plentiful. they come more often than not now.
when we painted the bedroom together had some very good conversations about how life could look together.
it will work out.
We harvested goodies from the garden and spent all of Sunday during Labor Day Weekend canning. I never had before so this was a real treat. This upcoming weekend we will be focused on tomatoes for freezing and sauce, too.
We also painted our new bedroom that he has been building. Pretty color! We spend each weekend joined at the hip doing so many projects and activities together. We just love each other’s company. Spent the weekend prior touring to favorite sights while driving in the convertible enjoying the weather, each other and the beautiful vistas. Same thing with trying to take time each weekend for bike rides in beautiful settings. We look for things we both enjoy and point them out to each other. It is so small and yet so big. The closeness. The intimacy. The enjoying of each other.
We have now watched the Game of Thrones series together – something he wanted to share with me as a shared activity. And his family…so many of them…all brought together as a group for me to be a part of this.
Unbelievable how loved I feel by them. Not sure if he will be able to experience anything similar with mine. We shall see. He so wanted me to meet his family and be a part of them. They surround him and he is their collective rock. They build from him. He anchors them. And, you can see that the mantle was passed to him from the two generations before him and the two after him. He is centered in this placement. It is such a beautiful thing to witness. He has no idea what it looks like to the outside observer. He hosts them all. Tends to them all. Takes care of them all. And I, I get to take care of him. And more than ever before, I have someone who takes care of me. So very, very lovingly. So overtly and so subtly. Sometimes I can’t see how much he does it because he so predicts what my needs will be. He is someone who gives so much. I am so blessed. So loved. So fortunate.
I found him. I love him. He loves me.
Tonight…we celebrate! The long awaited reward for my work.
It is wonderful. It is wonderful to have him to share this with. I hope to make this a magical night!
For him. For me. For us.
In the meantime…I am living, and loving life with the man of my dreams.
I look back on each of these entries and I am certain that where I am in the moment I am writing these entries each year, that the moment I am standing in – is the best moment of my year. also, that life continues to improve and i can feel that trajectory. Mainly…I am certain that I have never been in the moment I am in – which is such an incredible leap from where I was before…that I live in tremendous gratitude for what it took for me to get to this new place.
And so it is today. I have taken gigantic leaps in my life….since last year…and looking through this thread…in the past several years. I can’t imagine the steps…huge leaps in terms of quality of life, happiness scale, relationship dynamics, contentedness with myself and many aspects of life and living.
I know that I stand in a place unimaginable to me a year ago…unfathomable 5 years ago. How good can life get?
So happy. So very very happy.
I love life.
I love my life.
I love where I am and I am so grateful for 43 Things for allowing me to document…over time…the hopes, the goals and the moment I am in…that enables me to see where I have been. How far I have come. How fast. How wonderful.