Beginnings Here

Finding Me in ease in 2014



Entries
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Be a consumate professional with the people I hire to work for me. (read all 5 entries…)
I have been getting better

I know I try more to be authentic.

Just who I am. But not too relaxed. Professional at all times. But human.



tell my daughter - everyday - how much she means to me (read all 28 entries…)
Tomorrow!

Home!
New Home this week.



Meet David Letterman (read all 8 entries…)
you are 66?

is that right?

I’d better hurry.



pack 3 boxes each day. take over 10-15 at a time (read all 2 entries…)
i have done more than 3 each day.

And now I have about 50 to pack in the next 3 days!

So much has been moved over. Still so much more to go.

Busy time. Busy time indeed.



Live The Secret (read all 12 entries…)
I own it!

And it is everything I imagined it could be.



Make 2013 my finest year yet (read all 8 entries…)
Sixteen days to go

And this has been an outstanding year.

My finest year yet.

How can that be?

It just is.

A very fine year.

Indeed.



Gratitude & Happiness (read all 21 entries…)
I am grateful and happy

that I am moving in this week to my spectacular new home

that I am picking up my daughter tomorrow and will spend 2 months together

that I have everything that I need

that I am in good shape for the move

that the weather is going to be 51 degrees on my moving day!

that we have friends coming to visit

that a friend wants to partner

that strangers want to partner

that I am partnering with a stranger who has a mutual friend

that I trust my instincts about this stuff now

that a new contract will be forthcoming on a couple of fronts

that I have a safety net now

that things will get better from here

that the year was pretty spectacular – despite loosing my mom

that the life i have lived in my head is coming alive!

that i will be ok and everything will work out alright.

that the sun will shine so brightly in the new house.

the light is so happy in that space.

the house is so uplifting.

I am so happy. I have a happy house. I am making the home of my dreams.

Who gets to do that??

So happy. So grateful.



Help my mother in ways I have never imagined I could. Find a way! (read all 18 entries…)
I did my best

to help her. I was there at the last rites. Smiling with her as she found joy in it.

I was there, sitting next to her, holding her hand the night that she passed.

I was there, greeting all of her friends at the funeral…glad that I knew them all and they knew me and we could speak of her good and great times.

I was there, when the casket was taken by the four workers, when I shouldn’t have seen them, and I asked them to take special care with a teardrop still fresh on the casket, to keep it there.

I was there, with my siblings, laughing at photos we had never seen before and sharing them with others online, swapping stories.

I found ways I never imagined to help. I did this. And, I imagine I still will.



lay in the grass and stare at the clouds (read all 3 entries…)
i bought me some grass

I will be able to do this now!!!



pack 3 boxes each day. take over 10-15 at a time (read all 2 entries…)
got the truck today

packed 5 bags last night!



Build a robot that will make lives easier (read all 5 entries…)
my original ideas remain

in tact. when i get a roboticist in my life…i will act on this.



Ask: are there any narcisists I am enabling? (read all 11 entries…)
It is a year now

since I last reflected on this. It remains a great reminder and I actively work on this at every turn.

Soon to be done.



practice pronoia (read all 2 entries…)
this is it

start getting better at this

believe.

because if any one should believe in this practice, it is the charmed life you are living!

unbelievable life.

good things are running toward me right now!

How do explain it other than to know that the universe is conspiring to provide me with everything I have ever wanted!

unreal how wonderful it is.



pay myself this year and plan budget (read all 5 entries…)
I bought myself the house this year.

Pay enough!



Make 2013 my finest year yet (read all 8 entries…)
The time with my mom remains magical

Even as she gets sicker, the time together is more precious, more measured and we connect in ways that I haven’t experienced ever. I appreciate everything going on between us now. I know I must spend my days with her. Each and every that I am able. These days are wonderful and I know this is a short window. We laugh. We smile. She is often joyful like never before. She sings. She jokes. She is free to be who she is. I love our time. It is the best of time.



Step up and deliver. Stop being afraid. Be vulnerable and just show up and do it. (read all 3 entries…)
This is a great practice.

When the time comes…do you step up?

Being tested in a big way. I am not afraid. I will do it.



Get walking desk (read all 2 entries…)
I keep researching this

Not for the faint of heart…

lol

I may have room in my new office for this.



go on a silent retreat (read all 6 entries…)
I am doing this now on weekends.

More self-imposed. I am at home. I am at peace. I am learning to enjoy the silence and solitude and not feel that I have to be talking to someone all the time. Living inside my head. OK with being inside myself. Mini-silent retreats are on until my daughter returns. Enjoying a break without an SO. Allows me the silence and to come into myself and be me without reflection of another. Good practice to remember who I am without others.



Be a consumate professional with the people I hire to work for me. (read all 5 entries…)
Improving

I announced intention. Let’s see if that helps.



Help my mother in ways I have never imagined I could. Find a way! (read all 18 entries…)
she wanted pizza

so I ordered it. (she had two bites and fell asleep!)

she was cold, so I brought in a warm down blanket for her.

we laugh. she can be funny. I hold her hand or touch her when that is something we have not done before. She can tell me what is going on. In our quiet moments together. Few of them…but when they come we get to share very tender and loving exchanges. I hold on to them. They will be fleeting and distant memories. I savor them like a good truffle or cap after dinner. Just being there most days is the best. I leave each time and wave to her from the door. She waves back. Most of the time. and smiles. It is a good way to say goodbye.

I bring her favorite cake. I pick her a flower. I can’t do enough but I know I need to stop anticipating everything and allow her to ask – when she can.



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