Mwahmwah

I’ve come to the conclusion that long distance relationships are bad for the hips: after long periods of famine are we not apt to feast? There is the yearning to be close to each other, to experience all the little things normal couples take for granted and inevitably this yearning translates itself into a week-long Bacchanalian orgy of frenzied indulgence. We wine and dine each other with lascivious intent; normally healthy morsels of fruit are fondued in hot chocolate decadence; even the humble takeaway is more “wanton” than wun-tun. And one tonne, at this rate, is likely to be my weight fate.

The holiday is over, the clothes are tighter than ever (sadly not just in the right places), and without my partner in crime I feel flabby not fabulous. Oh well, I’m sure even Bacchus had “fat days”...

I’ve just come back from another week with R in our Devonshire holiday cottage (“ours” in the strictly sentimental sense, of course). It may have been monsoon-like this time around but I’m still in love with country living and the warmth and kindness of almost everyone we met there. Despite all this, actually moving to Devon isn’t going to be a short-term goal due to finances and the difficulty finding jobs without a hellish commute, so I’m giving up to make room for more practical goals in the meantime. I would like to live in a more rural location, though, when R and I move in together so I’ll make a new goal for that sometime soon.

Finally ready to make a move on this goal after getting my provisional license in the mail today. Aside from the fact that the black and white photos they use on new licenses renders me somewhat Morticia Addams-like, I’m raring to go.

...”worth doing” is perhaps too kind.

I saw “Delirium” last week which left me disappointed almost to the point of incredulity. The acrobatics were almost entirely peripheral to the cheesy Europop-style soundtrack and pretentious video clips of random children and old people blinking meaningfully from the stage-sized screens. What should have been background was foreground and vice versa. A very clichéd, ham-fisted attempt at postmodernism all in all. I agree entirely with this chap’s review from The Times so I’ll spare my scoffs.

...but I only have to wait one month to see him again when I have some time off from work. Not so bad, I suppose.

...we might start looking for places when he comes up to visit me in a few weeks. He wants to start applying for jobs here too and I’m sure he’ll have lots of good options to choose from work-wise. Ideally I’d prefer to move somewhere different (to heavenly Devon in particular) but it’s just not feasible at the moment until we’ve saved more and I’ve worked at my job for a good while longer. Having moved back to my home town I’m also a bit uncertain about how the closeness of my family will affect our relationship. I suppose I’ll just miss the privacy we had but that really doesn’t matter as much as being together matters. If I hurry up and get started on learning to drive then we can look at places in the surrounding areas that might give us a bit more space to ourselves.

Mini baguette with pastrami, detox smoothie, apple, fruit & nut bar and a couple of herbal tea sachets all wrapped up and ready to go. I usually don’t bother eating at all at work but when you’re working up to 10 hours you should eat something. At least this is light enough not to make me feel bleugh and lethargic afterwards.

1/6 paid – 10/3/08

2/6 paid – 14/3/08

3/6 paid – 17/4/08

4/6 paid -

5/6 paid -

All paid (put on your party dress) -

A friend of mine has asked me to housesit and care for her pets while she’s on holiday and has very kindly said that R is welcome to come up and stay too. He has a few holiday days left to take so hopefully we’ll get to spend some time together in a few weeks or so. I’ll have to work while he’s here but I’m just so happy to have something to count down towards again =)

I only have the one, thankfully, but it’s too easy to rack up the debt without having to make more than the minimum payment each month. I’m going to start paying extra and hopefully have this cleared in a few months. Not sure whether to keep it “for emergencies” or get rid of it altogether though. Oh well, first things first…

Listen as the wind blows
From across the great divide;
Voices trapped in yearning
Memories trapped in time.
The night is my companion
And solitude my guide.
Would I spend forever here
And not be satisfied?

And I would be the one
To hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I’ll take your breath away
And after I wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes, dear

Through this world I stumbled
So many times betrayed
Trying to find an honest word
To find the truth enslaved.
Oh you speak to me in riddles
And you speak to me in rhymes
My body aches to breathe your breath
Your words keep me alive

And I would be the one
To hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I’ll take your breath away
And after I wipe away your tears
Just close your eyes

Into this night I wander
It’s morning that I dread
Another day of knowing of
The path I fear to tread
Oh into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride
Because nothing stands between us here
And I won’t be denied

And I would be the one
To hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I’ll take your breath away
And after I wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes, dear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IQLg0auZfQ

Yeah there’s a better range and better prices but I’m never in when they deliver which means I have to travel miles to pick up parcels from the depot. Life is too short.

I just ordered two of these in contrasting colours, one for the chap and one for mwah moi, to help us save towards moving in together. They hold around £500 in pound coins and they look pretty cool too. I wonder if I’ll ever want to smash it…

What event are you most looking forward to in your life at the moment?

Do you know how many months or days there are to this event?

Are you happier having something to work towards/look forward to or are you content living in the moment with no real plans?

This perfect agony of knowing the feel of your kiss in memory alone makes me hunger for you more than ever before. My heart is a deadweight that burdens me with longing. The joy of talking with you is now a source of sadness that makes the distance between us impossible to ignore. I wish that I could still feel your words breathed against my skin and see the silent communication in your eyes. I worry you will think I’m disinterested when we talk when really my silence is a cry of heartache. It is easier, somehow, to not hear your voice. The little comfort I have is knowing that you feel the same way and realising that being with you has taken away all doubts in my mind. I believe in you, and us, more than ever before and no amount of distance could conquer that conviction.

Never been to Devon before last week but I just felt instantly at home there. Everyone we met was so kind and warm, the countryside is beautiful, the sunsets and unblemished night sky magical, and it was very endearing to find that the greatest incident of crime reported in the local paper was the theft of 2 bags of coal from a small grocers! I’m in love.

Yesterday was the last day of the most amazing week on holiday with Herr Wonderful. While we were (reluctantly) packing our suitcases I got rid of him just long enough to hide a small silver key I had engraved with the words “To My Heart” in with his belongings. I don’t think he’s even unpacked yet because he started back at work right away, but I know he’ll love it…

_{...assuming he doesn’t find it after it breaks the washing machine}

When I made this goal I was feeling really sleep deprived thanks to the long hours I was working in my new job. Thankfully things are less frantic now and, hey, whaddya know, I have time for this website again..hoorah!

After a couple of insanely busy weeks, I just haven’t had time for this. I did write something though. Maybe not a novel or even a novella. I think I’ll call it a novelina-ette. Yes, that sounds sufficiently dainty.

I know this was the right decision to make for personal as well as financial reasons. While I’m not sure at the moment if it will be forever it’s the best move for now. But, sheesh, am I cream crackered or is my name Jacob? Perhaps one of these days I’ll get a day off…