Bettye

For a cuban I have no rhythm, no fluidity…no concept of how to move in any kind of graceful way. I guess that’s why my mee-mee calls me Grace, ha ha. So, I’ve started taking Rumba lessons…it’s interesting. And it’s a hell of a work out, YAY! I would ideally like to take lessons pretty stringently for about a year. Start with Rumba, then Waltz, etc. I’m excited! It’s super expensive for private lessons…but totally worth the expense to become a little more graceful and “cultured.”

This was not my plan. I’m assuming, naturally, this is no one’s plan. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this, or at all. I got married on Aug 17th and it’s been a nightmare since the day after. He left and has been partying ever since. I’ve seen him very few times since we’ve been married. I don’t feel neglected anymore….just cheated and ashamed. I found a video of him recording a girl getting ready in his hotel room. He was zooming in on her bottom and breasts and making inappropriate comments. I was devastated, and I still am. It hurts so much cos I believed his little mantra that you never never never cheat. I know he didn’t physically do anything….but he flew her to a place he was supposed to be working. Probably first class. And let her in his hotel room and then I found all that. Bra’s everywhere in the video…I feel so sick. How can I really believe they didn’t do anything? I’m so stupid. I believed everything he said. I made excuses for him when everyone told me something fishy was going on. So, now….well I guess we’re just going to get an annulment. I feel so foolish. I don’t want this but I can’t trust him. Plus everyone will think I’m a fool, well even more of one than what everyone thinks I already am. Plus his family hates me and they make that abundantly clear and he doesn’t care about making them feel differently. I guess the only way to get over it is to try to start over fresh. I don’t know how to do that anymore, but for my son I can try anything.

Well I’ve learned to manage some of this. But I think the TRUE art to this problem is learning to just take responsibility for everything that you are involved in in your life and the problems, etc., without taking it so PERSONALLY. Now this is the thing I need to work on!