Bilki

Somehow, I am going to do this before I die! hopefully sooner.,=..

I wonder if Ill ever get to the day where I can say “Its worth doing”??? sometimes it feels like that day wont ever come

I guess thats all I can say, I feel like I just cant do this one…(and similar ones). Right now Im finding it so so hard just to look at myself in the mirror and feel ok. All I ever do is mess things up, ive got a great loving man in my life … so all I do lately is get mad at him, push him away and hurt his feelings… I guess only bitches like me are so selfish… The really dumb thing is, I know Im doing it but I cant seem to stop pushing him away… He deserves so much better than sum fucked up bitch like me. I really wish I wasnt here…was never born, never existed cuz I reckon alot of people would have had a happier time if I wasnt around…I know you can say stop feeling sorry for yourself etc.. the fact is Ive had enough..of this fucked up life… sorry folks if this is all shit to you.. just dont read any more of my stupid entries and you wont av to put up with me either….I want to go home… cause I really really dont belong here or anywhere….