20. Bloody Mary (never again!)
21. Greek Lover
22. Oasis
23. Green Ice
24. Red Royal
Purpurea Aemilia
They said I once was lost but now I'm truly foundIt’s been awhile since I updated you on this topic. The first year of college and living in Belgrade is over.
Among 50 people in my class, I have one very close friend, 2-3 people I regard as friends, and about 10 more friendly acquaintances. Most of them were extremely friendly with each other just a few weeks after they met. I couldn’t make myself to do that too. It’s just… fake. For example, going out together meant doing nothing but taking pictures so they could post it on Facebook as soon as they got home and then commenting on them with multiple hearts. No real conversation, no getting to know each other. Anyway, by the time I opened up to them (months and months later), they had already formed a group and I was kind of an outsider. Now I feel like I can spend time in between classes, or party with them, but I don’t think anyone would respond if I invited them for coffee. Except a few closest ones I mentioned above.
One thing that has really enriched my life, especially social, is Egea. It’s a student organization on my faculty with approximately 15 active members. Our goal is to travel together and participate in exchanges and congresses. I made some friends in our entity, but also among people from various countries. Those open-minded, free-spirited people really inspire me. After a whole year as their member, I feel like an important part of this wonderful group.
There are also some random people I met by accident, but made a connection with.
All in all, I don’t feel lonely as much, and I don’t feel that sad kind of emptiness that I was earlier desperate to fill. I’m certainly going to keep making friends, but I think it doesn’t need to be on my list anymore.
I have to start keeping track of what I read. Let’s see how much I do in half a year. So, the first one is The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger.
That’s my average grade for the first semester classes. Pretty good, huh? I hope I can pull it off in the second too.
“In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice.” – Richard Bach
My college friend and I have been planning our vacation for a few months now. It was supposed to be a holiday on the seaside – beach from the early morning, sunbathing, afternoon coffees in bar with sight on the sea, going out in the evening, colourful cocktails… Just the two of us, forgetting about everything we left at home.
It’s April already, accommodation should be booked as soon as possible. Whenever I initiated this topic, she would try to change the subject. I asked her if something’s wrong. The answer I got was shocking. She changed her mind and decided to go with her boyfriend. Very cruel, right?
If she wanted to go with him, she should have told me that from the very beginning! I got my hopes up and now I’m disappointed and in panic. Does the idea of spending 10 days with me sound that awful? Is it not worth the money, a holiday with me?
I’ll restrain from commenting on her boyfriend for now. Honestly, there are very few nice things I can say about him. But somehow, she’s just obsessed with him. Even her grades are suffering because of their relationship.
We’re spending less and less time together. If it’s going to the cinema – she already watched that movie with him; if it’s going out – she must be in the same club as him; if it’s New Years Eve or some other celebration – she must spend it with him.
I’m kind of sick of that. I’m not going to depend on her. They’re going to break up eventually, I wonder what is she going to do then?
I’m a little late with this, but here are the results:
Ecogeomorpholgy – 10
Environmental geology – 10
English language – 10
Getting all the 10s wasn’t what I initially planned. I was quite surprised, actually. I was feeling very insecure and nervous, overreacting, to be honest. Here’s the plan for April:
10.04.2012. – Ecoclimatology
10.04.2012. – Landscape ecology
03.04.2012. – Ecohydrology
Although I can find it only salted for now, I’m happy that I discovered this tasty nut. I barely use salt in any meal, and I hope that I can get them without it somewhere.
“Cashew nuts are significant sources of iron (essential for red blood cell function and enzyme activity), magnesium (promotes energy release and bone growth), phosphorus (builds bones and teeth), zinc (essential to digestion and metabolism) and selenium (has important antioxidant properties, thus protecting the body from cancer).”
“Not only do cashews have a lower fat content than most other nuts, approximately 65% of their fat is unsaturated fatty acids, plus 90% of this unsaturated fatty acid content is oleic acid, the same heart-healthy monounsaturated fat found in olive oil. Studies show that oleic acid promotes good cardiovascular health, even in individuals with diabetes.”
Although I enjoy food in student cafeteria, I really miss fish. It is served rarely, I only ate it twice in three months. Luckily, I can buy it prepared and cooked here, just a few streets away.
I’ll try to eat hake fillets more often. Here’s what Wikipedia says about it:
Hake fillet is an excellent source of protein which makes digestion easier and is also high in Omega-3. Based on the fact that Omega-3 is not manufactured by the body, consumption of hake fillet or any other hake fish products is considered to be an essential component.
Scientists have proved that consumption of hake fish at regular interval in a meal decreases the risk of getting heart attack than those who don’t. Hake fish contains also a high amount of vitamin B12 and vitamin B6 which are essential for human body.
Exams are coming closer and closer, so I really have to start taking it serious. 5 pomodoros a day ‘til Monday, and after that… 10. That should be enough, right? Well, easier said than done…
So, I’ve decided to take 4 out of 6 exams in February. It means that two are left for April. I have to write them down so I can organize my time for studying better.
03.02.2012. – English language
04.02.2012. – Ecogeomorphology
08.02.2012. – Ecoclimatology
14.02.2012. – Ecohidrology
Recently I broke up a year-and-a-half relationship. An expected scenario happened – we went to college in different cities and slowly grew apart. The nature of the relationship was such that we were more best friends then lovers, throughout the whole relationship. The distance is hard, even if you’re ‘just’ best friends. But I had to accustom to it. Anyway, by the time of the actual break up, I barely felt like I had a boyfriend. Making it official wasn’t so heartbreaking as people would expect. I was already independent enough not to suffer too much.
Before the relationship mentioned above, I was involved in another serious one. We’ve been together for a year and a half, too. What is interesting is that I was single just for a week between those two. So, basically, I haven’t been alone for three years.
I’m only 19 years old. In addition to those three years, I also had a year long relationship. It makes it four. Whole four years of my youth. I doubt it’s normal.
Anyway, it has led to me not knowing what to do with myself when I’m single. I don’t even know what single means. I’m sure it’s not healthy. College just started, I still have time to have fun, so I think it’s a great time for me to focus on myself and make new friends. There are a few guys who are flirting with me, but I’m trying to resist the temptation to throw myself back where I was – in a serious relationship. I have to admit that I like the attention – I would never know that people are actually interested in getting to know me if I didn’t break that relationship.
So I’ve completed the beginner BabySteps (with weekend pauses, but still). Honestly, of all the habits I was supposed to develop, I have actually implemented only shining the sink, making the bed and laying out clothes for the next day. Other tasks I only do occasionally. It’s been a busy few days, so I hope the New Year will inspire me to do this regularly when I’m in Belgrade.
I seems I took a bigger bite than I can actually chew. Deadlines, obligations and tasks are coming at me like monsters who want to suck every little bit of happiness out of me. I need about 10 more hours in a day to actually be productive. I plan and organize – but it’s just plain letters on the paper.
I want to change. I really do. But it seems like I’ve sunk too deep to swim out just like that.
I got up at 8.30, now it’s 19.45 and I’ve only done 3 hours of studying today. I’m surprised by my own laziness.
One of the important keys to success is tracking down your progress. When I joined this site, I couldn’t understand people with more than 100 entries on some goals. Now I see how useful that can be. If you write daily or weekly, you can’t justify your procrastination with “I wasn’t here to share it, but maybe I made a progress, who can say?” excuse. From now on, I’ll write about some goals daily (FlyLady, Pomodoro, Internet, etc.) and most of others weekly. I hope that one day it will become my routine.
Today we received results of our fist test. I’ve got 9.4 out of 10 points, and that’s grade 10! Yay!
It’s been a month since college started. Naturally, I’ve made some connections. There’s 50 of us in my class, but often we’re divided into two groups. The girl I really clicked with is not in my group. Despite that, we’re very close. She’s the one I can tell the most, I can laugh with, but also sit quietly without feeling uncomfortable. Two weeks ago we went to a party, so she was sleeping at my place. I enjoyed finally having someone over – none of my friends visited my yet. The only problem is that Belgrade is her hometown. All of her friends are still there, she’s living with her family, and has a boyfriend who she sees every day. I doubt she actually understands me, ‘cause my situation is totally opposite. I need someone to spend time with – someone to listen when it gets hard and someone to do stuff with (going for a walk, shopping, cinema, going out). I’m not really the first person she would call to do those things, so I can’t rely on her. After all, it’ not fair to expect something like that.
There is also one girl in my group. She’s different. Both then me and everybody else. She’s quiet, yet very smart. Her lifestyle, sense of humor, everything. Maybe that’s why she hasn’t opened up to me yet, but I think the ice is melting.
A few other girls seem interesting, and I really think we could be good friends.
I have to admit that I didn’t make any special effort to make this happen. I could have done so much more. I’ll try to make a first step and introduce myself to more people, as well as regularly talk to the ones I already met.
