I'm doing 33 things
Ya know what? Fuck it. I’m not a schedule person, I don’t want a scheduled everyday boring life. I’m gunna be unique and go to bed whenever the hell I want to.
Black_Onyx's Life List
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1. be happy
personal challenge . 2 entries . 9 cheers24,867 people -
2. stop biting my nails
1 entry . 1 cheer7,313 people -
3. stop swearing
1 entry914 people -
4. control my temper
2 entries . 4 cheers652 people -
5. Be successful in Immortal Night
1 entry1 person -
6. achieve all my goals in 2011
1 entry2 people -
7. Heal
2 entries . 3 cheers228 people -
8. spend more time with my kid
1 entry . 6 cheers13 people -
9. Donate blood
1 entry . 2 cheers2,891 people -
10. To live instead of exist
1 entry . 2 cheers11,581 people -
11. turn 18
1 entry158 people -
12. get married
21,336 people -
13. learn to live w/o the pain of the past or fear of the future
5 cheers3 people -
14. live life to the fullest
1 entry . 1 cheer1,573 people -
15. beat cancer
52 people -
16. Finish a tube of chapstick before losing it
1 entry . 5 cheers149 people -
17. stop popping my knuckles
1 entry . 3 cheers82 people -
18. continue to work out everyday
1 entry . 2 cheers1 person -
19. Beat my depression
1 entry . 5 cheers1,966 people -
20. finish writing my book
1 entry . 1 cheer521 people -
21. let people in
1 entry . 3 cheers48 people -
22. discard my abandonment issues
1 entry . 3 cheers13 people -
23. Stop hurting myself
1 entry . 3 cheers123 people -
24. change the world
1 entry . 1 cheer3,468 people -
25. be worth something
1 entry . 1 cheer7 people -
26. not feel empty
1 entry . 1 cheer5 people -
27. graduate highschool
1 entry . 2 cheers311 people -
28. quit drinking
1 entry . 2 cheers1,019 people -
29. Quit Smoking
1 entry . 2 cheers9,327 people -
30. stop being jealous
1 entry . 1 cheer714 people -
31. lie under the night sky and watch for shooting stars
1 entry . 3 cheers30 people -
32. resolve issues with my ex's
1 entry . 1 cheer1 person -
33. Have a completely different life by this time next year
1 cheer42 people
How I did it
It made me
Relieved 
How I did it: Took a while to be able to forgive myself for what I did to him. Didn't think I would be able to forgive myself for what I did to him. But then I stopped and realized.. he wasn't looking for an apology. Never was. Never would. Read how I did it…
It made me
Eh 
How I did it: Worked hard to put my life back together, took alot of effort but in the end it all worked out for the best, keeping it this way is the hard part... Read how I did it…
It made me
Estatic
How I did it: I had told her best friend about the feelings, her words were and i quote, 'Oh Crap' so yeah that made me feel better u_u but so anyways she asked her if her feelings for me really did go away. And to my surprise she answered.. No I still love him. She was guarding her heart because I didnt have the best reaction the first time. Now we're better than we have ever been. Sure shes still with her guy, and there are a few obstacles so we cant… Read how I did it…
See all "How I Did It" stories...
Recent entries
I’m not one to whine about my problems, I’m not one to think I can live life completely pain free. But I never once thought I could ever feel this way. She broke me, she broke who I am. I will never be the same again, I will never not feel this horrible pain inside. I feel like she broke the gate on my heart, she broke it and no one can come inside it.. and since she was in there when it broke.. she wont escape it.
I know that I will never heal from this, and don’t you dare comment saying I will, cuz i know who i am, and this is something i will never come back from. But hey, if i happen to defeat the impossible and get over this, at least i can put this in the win collumn.
I really don’t know how I can continuing living like this.. sooner or later.. i will have to end everything..
A good friend of me and my friend’s died today.. the pain this caused me is unspeakable. Human eyes aren’t suppose to hold these many tears. It hurts deeply because one day he’s there.. then the next.. gone forever. At the memorial they were pictures of him.. he was an adrenaline junkie.. it makes me laugh when I think back at how much he loved life. He had fun.. makes me realize.. what am doing? I need to get out there and do something.. for him..
