BlueButterflies




I'm doing 23 things
 
Recent entries
Lose 20 pounds (read all 2 entries…)
Nine to Go 1 year ago

Since my last entry, I’ve lost 11 pounds! I’m on Atkins. Despite what people say about the health aspects, I’ve tried so many different diets over the years and Atkins is the only one that consistently works for me. The only downside, in my opinion, is that it is such a hard diet to stay on long term (I love bread and pasta!), but it’s proving perfect for the rapid weight loss I need right now.

I bought those Ketosis strips…it’s funny how peeing on a stick and having it turn purple can be a serious motivator. I like seeing solid proof that a change has taken place in my body though…sometimes you diet and diet and you start to wonder if any of it is even making a difference.

I did slip up once…I had been craving fries for days and finally gave in. Big mistake! I felt like total crap, and in the end, my body rebelled and I ended up getting very sick. By some miracle (and probably due to getting sick), I managed to stay in Ketosis, but it’ll be a long while before I decide to eat fast food again.

Knowing my usual point of plateau, I am still about 25 pounds or so away from it (I really let myself go over this past year :( ), so I will probably end up revising this goal once I reach it…however, I am pleased to say I am more than halfway to losing 20 pounds!


get back in touch with those who have touched my life
The Corners of my Mind 1 year ago

I figured the best way to approach this goal is by identifying the people who have touched my life. I’m not much of a penpal…I’m your ‘out of sight, out of mind’ type of gal…and people come and go…that’s life. I never forget the people who do touch my life though, and, at the very least, I would like to acknowledge them:

1. Fiona Brown – My best friend back in England. I was closer to her than I’ve been to any other woman, ever…we had a lot of good times at Elleray, and some rather prepubescent kinky ones too. She remains the only girl I have ever kissed…though I’m not sure that anything you do before the age of 12 counts in the grand scheme of things. ;)

2. Jamie – I wish I could remember his last name, but he was one of my first best friends as a child…and the first boy I ever wanted to marry. He lived in Windermere, and we went to St. Cuthbert’s together for a while. I remember his big dog – all bark and no bite…and I remember, very fondly, our ‘Thundercats’ reenactments in the playground. He will always be Liono to me, and he has a special place in that part of my heart that still wants to be Cheetara.

3. Francis – again, it’s a miracle I can remember first names, let alone last. Francis and I also went to St. Cuthberts, as I recall…but my memory of him stems from our time together at Breda’s…Breda use to take a lot of kids in this after-school program held at a nearby church. I remember one day, I was maybe 7…I took Francis by the hand and led him into the sparse woods that bordered the church grounds. I sang to him…I doubt he remembers, but I do, and it’s one of my favorite childhood memories…and one of the few times that I’ve sung to anyone alone.

4. Benji – my goodness, Benji and I were together from almost our first moments…and I have so many stories I could tell…so many early early moments that were seared into my heart. This is simply my favorite one: It was a day in Kindergarten…a day in which we were supposed to bring a teddy bear for a ‘teddy bears’ picnic’. I forgot my bear, and I was so upset about it…until Benji came up, held out his teddy bear, and said ‘here, you can have my bear for today.’ If ever love could be bottled into moments…pure love, innocent love…this one deserves a crystal bottle.

5. Rachel Hurst-Dean – Why do I remember the girls’ names but not the boys? Rachel was my very first best friend…we were friends right up until her family moved away when we were about 8. She went to Breda’s also…so did Benji actually…we were all in a play when we were little…I was Mary, Benji was Joseph, Rachel was the angel who stood behind us. When people talk about having friends for life…growing up together in little groups…I often wonder if that could have been the three of us…had life not chosen different paths for us all.


Lose 20 pounds (read all 2 entries…)
Grrr 1 year ago

I’ve been totally ‘blah’ about this one…you know that ‘I have all the time in the world’ feeling? Yeah…it’s bitten me on the ass.

See, the thing is that a few months back I was actually pretty happy with where I was weight-wise…I wasn’t exactly going to win any pageants, but I was content.

Then I quit smoking…

I know it seems like a cliche to gain weight when you quit smoking, and a large part of it was also stress, but I have honestly gained about 30 pounds in the past four months.

I figured I had time to deal with it…and I had so much else on my mind…more important things, I thought.

Except now I don’t have any time…the ticket is about to be bought…and suddenly, I have three weeks. Oh, I know he won’t care…it’s not about that, because I really know what we have isn’t fragile enough to be forfeit over 30 pounds…

Still, I wanted that moment to be perfect…and maybe perfect is too much to ask for, but being overweight wasn’t exactly what I’d envisioned. It’s my own fault…and I’ll do what I can between then and now. However, I wanted him to see me…the me he fell in love with, the me he met…not this temporary orally-fixated, stress-eating me who simply stopped caring for a while, because she thought she had a while…


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