BlueNicola




I'm doing 19 things
 

How I did it
How to eat sushi
It took me
1 year
It made me
Unsure


Recent entries
Get over my fear of spiders (read all 2 entries…)
Slowly... 2 months ago

The spider population in my bedroom seems to have skyrocketed. I keep seeing moths in here too, I have to remember to shut the window, UGH. The daddy long legs spiders still creep me out, but I actually don’t kill them on sight anymore. What upsets me immensely is when I’m trying to sleep and I see one on the bed. That’s when I move out onto the couch haha.



Recover from my eating disorder
On and off for the past 3 years. 3 months ago

I fell back into anorexia about 5 months ago, and it’s gotten particularly bad. Everyone in my family can see how thin I’ve gotten and I don’t have an excuse anymore. I don’t want one, I just want it to go away and stop controlling my life. I’m tired of snapping at people, pulling out fistfuls of hair, recording every calorie out of habit, and running on the treadmill until I feel like passing out. Sometimes I can’t get up off of the floor or out of bed and my poor boyfriend has to pick me up. I hate what this has done to me and I long for the day when I am finally happy.



stop suffering, stop being afraid of happiness, feel alive and forgive myself
Untitled 18 months ago

I did this, I just needed some help.



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