Broken_by_life

I only know hot emo girls. haha Just I only know bi girls but no lesbian, gay, or bi guys…....anyway…....It’d be cool to know a emo guy…..and I like emo guys so that’s why I said “hot”.....well I typically like them…....moving on…..

I’ve wanted to cut really badly lately but I’m trying to stop, I have had to move to my legs because my family has noticed the cuts on my arms too easily, I can’t hide them in the summer…..I live in the South, I’m a cutter, not a complete idiot. I need to wear short sleeves. People see my scars but I don’t care, they don’t know that I still cut, they only see scars. My family and friends just make me feel invisible and I’m sick of feeling like I don’t exist! I’m thinking about cutting deep enough to kill myself so that I won’t have to worry about stupid ass holes trying to ruin my life just because I cut. They don’t understand that maybe I cut because they do that! Even though I don’t. I wish I could just get something sharp enough to wear it will acually slice my wrists open instead of me having to press as hard as I can to cut. I want to be able to do this and not have some impotent fuckers calling me gothic(which I’m not btw), and emo, and cutter, and shit just because they want to draw attention away from ass holes like them so people will hate me, gays and other people that aren’t barbie and ken fucking replicase!!! That picture is of the me and the only prson that really understands what I do because she does it, too.

Though I’m still young and will hopefully find it someday, I want to be able to feel love. I felt it before, people say it’s impossible because I’m too young to have been in love, but I was. I don’t know why the human race is so dependant on feeling love. Why do we want to search for happiness in love or relationships when those very things can hurt us so much? Why do we search for them when the search itself makes us unhappy? We try and find it, we “have” to find it, and we don’t give it a chance to find us because, like let’s say, talents, it just comes to us. If you look for something, like love or joy, you have a less likely chance of finding it because you’re so determind to find it, when you dont, you get upset…...then are you happy?