Brokenface

Its been to long since Ive made any entry on this thing. I’m the kind of person who starts something like this and then just walks away from it, thinking Ive made a start and it will just snowball into what i want the outcome to be. Well this has changed Ive planed to return to college again in September and its my goal to return a me better version, kind of like the Six million Doller Man. Build myself from the ground up. take things one step at a time without loosing focus on my goal instead of looking at the big picture, which freaks my out take it step by step. Will make more entries about my progress

I have this problem with confidence, that has become a constant devil on my shoulder. its holding me bak in so many things in life. It petrifies me to talk to people because i assume that i have noting good to say or cant think of a thing to say. I watch people talk to strangers all the time and think i should have thought of that. I cant approach people for fear of coming out as a werdo cos i panic and say the first stupid thing that comes to my head. Im 25 and the past year ive found myself hateing myself for letting this happen and letting my life slip into such a challenge. I guess some people have a harder time to fit in. But things have to change we have only have one life and one chance at it, well that is if u don’t believe in reincarnation which i don’t. I’m setting myself a challenge to change and hold my head up high when i walk into a room and look people in the eye. IM sick of looking at my feet

My biggest problem is finding the new kind of look that i want. I have many ideas but can’t seem to focus on any particular one and also cant get a start to go about adopting the lok