Brokengrl

So I went all day yesterday without eating and today all I’ve eaten is a small sub with a few chips. I want to binge sooo bad. I realize it is because I have restricted so much. But I’m sooo afraid to eat because I know that I will lose control. I can see it in my head. So basically I would rather restrict myself then let myself be free with food. I do not really trust myself. For me the only way things are better for me are when I eat… except for the fact that it actually makes me feel worse which in turn makes me eat more…Hmm not soo good. I use food as a way of avoidance. I don’t want to feel. I have used food as a way to deal with stress for far way too long. I tell myself to find other ways, but it is so hard. Food seems to work best…atleast for a little while… Oh whatever…I’m not eating tonight. Hopefully I will not lose control tomorrow : (

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a cool website with Dr. Townsend and Dr. Cloud… you can find videos where they discuss just about any problem out there. They have an interesting video about is the problem that our group struggles with a sin…. I think everyone should see it!!

I overate again today. I just get so stressed out sometimes. I went home for the weekend and that is when I seem to lose control with my eating. I guess I just cannot handle the pain and bad memories I experience when I’m around my family. I have a plan to not eat tomorrow. Is that wrong to not eat?? I just really feel that I’ve eaten so much the past few days that I don’t really deserve to eat tomorrow. And if I do eat tomorrow then I will most likely completely lose control and eat everything insight. Do yall have any advice???