I'm doing 43 things
My boyfriend of over 3 years committed suicide on July 9th, and I am having trouble accepting his death. It is so difficult, because besides missing him in the present, I have so many memories of the past and a lack of hope for the future. I am having no problem accepting my own death, it is the death of others that is causing me so much grief and anxiety. He was only 20… so intelligent… so creative… and an extraordinary best friend/boyfriend…I feel as though I have lost my link to reality.
CallMeAlaska's Life List
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1. Get a tattoo
2 entries22,045 people -
2. accept death
1 entry47 people -
3. have a career that i love
1 cheer42 people -
4. Become fluent in more than one language
2 entries . 2 cheers1,324 people -
5. travel the world
2 entries . 3 cheers20,749 people -
6. be a better student
1 entry . 1 cheer211 people -
7. Expand my DVD collection.
1 entry . 1 cheer33 people -
8. stop buying unnecessary things
1 cheer88 people -
9. be nicer to my grandma
1 entry . 2 cheers6 people -
10. Adopt a baby
1 entry . 1 cheer587 people -
11. Divide by zero
1 entry . 3 cheers59 people -
12. Write something. Anything. Sentence. Paragraph. Short Story. Novel. Epic. Anything.
1 entry . 3 cheers264 people -
13. Have adventures
1 cheer216 people -
14. learn to cook. Really cook.
2 entries . 3 cheers1,749 people -
15. commit random acts of kindness
1 entry . 2 cheers227 people -
16. read every book I own
2 entries . 2 cheers2,138 people -
17. Live in a foreign country for at least a year
1 entry . 1 cheer135 people -
18. Be Happy Alone
3 entries . 10 cheers88 people -
19. philosophise
7 people -
20. Make people laugh.
2 cheers599 people -
21. sleep less
1 entry640 people -
22. never drink coffee
1 entry2 people -
23. ski more
128 people -
24. go on a road trip with no predetermined destination
1 entry . 2 cheers21,235 people -
25. Establish a healthier relationship with myself.
2 cheers45 people -
26. Never let the people I care most about feel unappreciated
2 cheers15 people -
27. Record an album
1 entry . 1 cheer1,318 people -
29. Reduce my ecological footprint
373 people -
30. be more selfless
1 entry80 people -
31. become a morning person.
1 entry1,536 people -
32. Laugh. A lot. Genuinely.
1 cheer359 people -
33. Rule a small island nation
1 entry . 2 cheers43 people -
34. be less judgmental
1 entry . 2 cheers193 people -
35. grow my nails
469 people -
36. get a puppy
1,375 people -
37. get a kitten
458 people -
38. move to washington d.c.
41 people -
39. keep a commonplace book
12 people -
40. be here now
1 entry . 1 cheer107 people -
41. meditate daily
1 entry . 1 cheer4,556 people -
42. Never stop learning
1 entry . 4 cheers4,106 people -
43. eat healthy
1 entry3,484 people
Recent entries
My boyfriend of 4 years took his life on Monday evening. He was only 20, and it has been a very difficult week. I have had this goal for a long time, but now it seems more like a necessity than a goal. I hate this intense grief, I miss him so terribly and cannot fathom that he is actually gone. I will never love someone the same way I loved this boy, and any advice or support on how to get through this would be greatly appreciated.
