CandiDandi

I’ve been through a bunch of tough things in my life the past few years and I’ve realized that not every friend, even if they are good people, are true friends. Not everyone will be loyal. They may not be back stabbing but if they aren’t putting any effort in to be there for you, a lot of times they really aren’t worth waiting around for.

I guess I’m a hypocrit, too, because I realize that in my life’s struggles, I’ve left a lot of friends behind.

But, in the end, I know that the friends whom I genuinely feel concern and love from are the ones who are my real friends, even if we haven’t been able to connect for awhile.

Also—with struggles I’ve dealt with, I know that I’ve separated myself a bit socially. And, truly, not many people can relate and even bringing up things I’ve dealt with brings out a lot of comments where people really think they know, they KNOW what’s best for me and think they know how things really should go. But everyone has their own journey and I’ve been blessed with cures for some health issues in life that aren’t generally accepted by society or allopathic (regular) medicine.

I am glad that I have found these cures and can gain a path to better health and a better life but I know that time is needed to pass before I can fully get out and be social again. Because when you are going through some of the things I’ve been going through, all there IS to talk about is the tough times and the trials. It just makes it worse to talk to someone and not only not receive any support but much contradiction against choices I have put a lot of effort into and have chosen to be best for me. So, in conclusion, there is a peace in knowing that temporarily things will be a little solitary. But I accept genuine kindness and friendliness from others gratefully, even if it doesn’t lead to any lasting relationships.

In all, I am just glad for what I’ve been given and wait, again, to be able to reconnect with those friends that I know have been there for me all along and I acknowledge and move on from those relationships that really are just extra baggage.

After years of wanting to have long hair then chopping it and then repeating this process I’ve learned one thing: If you keep chopping your hair and you don’t ultimately want to, there is a reason.

For me, it was because I wasn’t satisfied with myself.

As I really looked at myself and why this was, I realized that when I was trying to change my hair, I was really just trying to change things about myself that really weren’t necessary.

So what if my personality is different from others. So what if someone else looks ‘cute’ and my natural look is more of a classy serious look. So what if someone naturally has an edginess that I don’t in my personality. I’m very simple and a perfectionist and I’ve learned who I really am and have found what hair really works best for me. And I am now, truly, growing my hair out but I am honest with myself; If, as my hair gets long and is a mess, I’m going to have to trim it a bit to keep it neat, also according to my hair-time constraints when it comes to styling.

Really, I’ve found the best way to keep it long is to know yourself and not try to be someone else. We are beautiful, no matter who we are and we should consider our true selves when it comes to hair, not what we see on or in someone else and try to BE that.

So, yeah. Lesson learned. And by the way, I am thinking that one day I will grow my hair down to mid-back. Just because I can. And because I like being able to wear long hair up or wear my hair in it’s natural waves :)

As with any goal, I’ve learned that breaking it down into smaller, more specific goals is really the way to do it.

Right now I have a very minor run that I’m training for and I’ve set myself a really easy training schedule for it. I’ve just now, after getting my health in check and intact, really gotten back to running and it’s been great having a schedule and a place to aim for in my running efforts.

I look forward to that final race, but I’m really just enjoying getting out and running again. And an extra plus is that I’m remembering how much I loved, and really getting back into trail running.

So glad I set this goal :)