Chrisv32

So I have decided to find myself, as they say, sort of to find out who the real Chris Vincent is. I figured that I would start with some fact-finding questions and finish up with a little bit of soul searching. But then I got to thinking about it, and I mean really thinking about it, and I have to confess that I have absolutely no idea what the term “soul searching” actually means. I mean, sure you see it a lot on television where people say that they need time to “find themselves”, and if this is what I am setting out to do, I suppose that I had better find the meaning of this term. I took a look in my dictionary, and this is what I pulled up: “the act or process of close and penetrating analysis of oneself, to determine one’s true motives and sentiments.” Ok, so you are telling me that if I probe deep within myself and find what I really want, this is soul searching? Sort of to find out why I do the things that I do? My motivation? Ok, I can live with that. So here’s the deal: Tomorrow I am spending the day in my hometown in Missouri, the place where I have been the happiest that I have ever been in my life. While I am down there, everything I do, nay, everything that I even think about doing will be probed. My goal is to find out why every choice and every decision that I make is made, and to find out what leads me to these conclusions. I fear that it may be a very confusing and frustrating day. :S I shall update everyone tomorrow night. Until then, farewell for now!

About 5 months ago I was spending money like it was going out of style (we all know that will never happen!) and now I am broke! Now, just how did that happen?! Was it 5 dollars at McDonalds every morning for my Egg McMuffin? Could it have been 20-30 bucks every night so that we could eat out instead of staying home and making something? Who knows!!! Over the past few months I have been doing really good at attempting to not spend any unnecessary money, but I still have quite a ways to go.

The traditional saying, grow old and happy, makes one think of a wise old man in suspenders sitting in a rocker on his front porch somewhere in the middle of a cornfield looking out over the horizon at a bright sunset. To me, this is not old and happy. This is old and placid. I do not just want to survive life. I want to LIVE it. Growing old and happy to be isn’t about where I’ve made it; it’s where I’ve been. Perhaps this is why I identify so much with country music. So many of the songs focus on what is accomplished between the dates on the tombstone, and those are the important moments on which I shall focus while living my hopefully good life.