Bethany




I'm doing 7 things
 

Bethany's Life List

  1. 1. create my own layout
    4,339 people
  2. 2. do something important and completely memorable
    1 person
  3. 3. lose some weight
    858 people
  4. 4. sing in front of idol
    1 person
  5. 5. feel my own emotions
    1 entry
    1 person
  6. 6. become one being
    1 person
  7. 7. write a novel
    2 entries . 1 cheer
    9,292 people
Recent entries
to live
Living 2 years ago

when you live your own life… you feel free! you dont NEED to worry about everyone else around you, or what others think about your hair or clothes. you just be you, and live peacfully for the rest of YOUR life… notice i said YOUR life not THEIR life or HIS life or HER life. its your life and you can do what you wish with it… you can choose to worry, but you dont need to worry if you dont want to. when you live… you can see the world in vivid colors, smell the sea water with an intensity that you never thought possible… feel their warmth against you as you sit together for a moment of being completely alone… so find a way to live… and do it. live



write a novel (read all 2 entries…)
Past the Vastness of Alone 2 years ago

Was it all a lie? Of course it was… Had they all decided to fool him into joining their evil, and destroying everything he had once loved? Of course they had… Could he still stop what was happening? Perhaps… but perhaps not! They didn’t care who died in their journey to succes, and he knew that from experience. They had trained him in their ways, and had been planning on using him for a killing machine! But when he had refused… they had simply thrown him out like yresturdays newspaper. Old stuff, nothing to be gained by keeping it around.
Looking around him he could see vertually nothing. No trees, no grass, no water, not even small insects roamed the earthy surface in which he stood. It was rather frightening, not being able to see any other living thing in this vastness. Vastness? That would definately be a good wrd to use. It was the vastness of alone. For that’s what he was. And in his opinion, where he was as well. Alone… The clouds overhead were dark and unwelcomeing to his sight. He could see the faint lines of rain in the distance, like a waterfall that fell from the heavens. Most would ask, “how can you tell?”, and every time he would reply, “its all written in the sky. See over there? There it is writen!”. In this vast wasteland, that was the only sign of life. Where he stood was nothing but dust that blew into his unshaven face with every burst of wind, whether faint or large. The floor itself seemed to swirl through the air due to the comeing storms. After only three monthes with them, he had already gained their sence of future. Feeling the future in his gut. Knowing that everything he thought was true. It was torture.
How could this have happened to him? Thats what he wanted to know. Nothing like this ever happened to people like him. Everyone had always said he would live a great life… Apperently no one knew that it was possible for things to change, like the flip of a light switch. And they were all wrong about, his life, and most importantly, his family. It had all been perfect, untill he changed. Because then it all changed… For when his father died, it had all changed for the worst.

“Three… Two… ONE, NOW! NOW! NOW!” it was complete chaos in the ambulence as they sped towards the
distant hospital that would save George Lanput’s life. But could they? “Breathe for gods sake! BREATHE!” everyone was bustleing around, some readying the lifter bed, others searching desperately for equipment, while most were attempting to calm Helen Lanput, who was crying histerically. Thrashing about like some maniac escaped from the insanity clinique. Perhaps that was where she needed to be at this point in time. Then again, maybe Da Vinci needed to be put to death for his beliefs.
“That’s my husband!” she screamed over the noise, “thats my baby!” she twisted and writhed as she tried
to see over the peremetics. “I must speak to him! This is all my fault… I shouldn’t have been away for more than a second!” Tears streamed down the womans face like a torent of water bombs, glistening in the artificail lights. There was no way that this woman could be restrained. “He cant die… not now… his boy needs him. His boy is only THIRTEEN!”
At this, young Keaton Lanput looked up from his hands. He was still in shock from watching his father, in what seemed like slow motion, fall from atop the family stair lifter, sprawling out in a motionless heap. It had been a heart attack. Something that wasnt normally experienced in the year 3026. But it had happened none the less. And poor Keaton could tell that these people werent ready for something like this. They had never expected to need to be ready for this. Not ever… but here they were, trying to remember what they were supposed to do in this type of a situation. Would they be able to help at all? he wondered.
“I’ll be fine mom. Honest. And so will dad.”
“You dont know what your talking about!” his mother spat in his face, as if anger could subside the pain, “This is your FATHER! Do you want your father to die tonight?”
“No… but he wont die momma. He’s stronger than that” Keaton tried to sound convincing, for his mother, and for himself.
“I sure do hope so baby… I sure do hope so”
“Trust me, its all gonna be all right.”
His mother simply sighed and nodded. She had been with his father for over seventeen years, plus the two years they had dated. It was understandable that she would be this upset about what was happening. In fact, Keaton was rather surprised that his mother hadnt knocked everyone over in attempt to reach her husband. But deep inside, he thought she knew, just as he did, he knew that he wouldnt live through this. That was why she wanted to see him, be with him, and hold his non respondent hands. So that she could be with him when he finaly saw the light at the end of his rather short life. Keaton was sure that his mother could sense it just as he had, and if not, more than he had, when the attack began. They knew he would not live.
“Here we are Mrs. Lanput, here we are. Your husband will be fine.”
“Dont you say that! Because if he isnt fine, that would make you a lier now wouldnt it?”
“Ma’m I…” He studered
“Wouldnt it?!”
“I suppose so…”
The hover car came to a smooth stop in front of the emergency room doors. To tell the truth, Keaton would have prefered the stop to be bumpy, as if in panic, for that was what was awaiting them. The rear doors swung open automatically, too slow for Keaton’s pleasure, and they gently floated his father out of the vehicle. They jogged (also too slowly) through the doors and into the “treat imediately” room. There was a mass of movement as the doctors escorted the Lanput’s to the waiting room as George was readied for major treatment.
“Just wait patiently out here, please.” a kindly looking doctor of about twenty-seven said in a slurry voice. “We will have him out in a jiffy. Your really lucky you called when you did. Otherwise he may already have died.” He smiled gayly as if he had said something comforting. Perhaps he thought that he had. But he hadnt.
Helen nodded with a heavy sigh, “he may already be…”
The doctors expresion changed to a mixture of concern and confusion. He had obviously been expecting thanks for his help, or at least a look of relief, and had recieved neither. But he smiled once more and walked briskly away to the back room for the second time.

The wait was long, and rather tiring. Just sitting there waiting for something to happen was torture! Knowing that
you had absolutely no control over what was happerning was quite madening, and Keaton was surprised to find that
he wasnt on the verge of insanity. Then again, how would he know that? If he really was oging insane, wouldnt he think that he wasnt? Or would he feel it in his gut? Just waiting
for the final fases to kick in. Slowly but surely losing his once sane mind, to an unsafe mass of crazy.
He looked over at his mother. Her eyes were red and puffy from constant tears, and now she sat silently,
completely dried of her moist tears. Keaton on the other hand hadnt cried a single tear. His eyes hadnt even watered or felt hot. He hadnt even choked on his heart yet. Was it the shock? Or did he just not care?
Shaking his head to rid himself of such thouhgts, Keaton rested his neck on the back of a wooden chair. ‘They could have at least put cushions on them’ he thought to himself in disgust. You would think that they would at least try to make the families of patients comfortable. ‘patients?’ Keaton thought about the term, ‘what? Are they supposed
to wait patiently while they DIE?!’ At this, he became angry, he turned his hands into fists that were so tight that his nuckles began to turn white, and he could feel warm
blood emerge through a fresh wound carved into his hands by his nails, but he slowly calmed himself by repeating something that his father had once said, a long time ago… “the rain chooses to fall… the rain chooses to fall… the rain chooses to fall…” He had never really understood what this had meant, and perhaps he never would, but it had always seemed to him that they were powerful words, coming from a powerful man.
Someone cleared their throat from behind
them and they both jumped to their feet in less than a second. “Excuse me… are you the Lanputs?”
“Yes, yes, whats the news? Is my George all right? Is my husband all right?” Her eyes flashed with hidden
disgust as she already knew the answer. But they also flashed in hope, for perhaps she was wrong!
The doctor sighed and looked down at his bare feet. His brown hair hung down to cover his eyes so that Keaton could not tell if the news was good or bad. “You may want to
sit back down…” He shook his head sadly as they both returned to their sitting posisions. “Im afraid I have some bad news.”
Tears were already returning to Helens eyes as she realized instantly what was going to be said. “Your family memeber, was not succesfully healed.” The doctor
looked up nervously as he said this, as if he was afraid that they would pounce. “He died from a heart attack exactly two minutes ago. Im so sorry for your loss.”
With a deep gasp Keaton’s mother managed to say, “could I? I mean, we, please see him?”
“Of course…”

They followed him down the hall into a lrage room that still held the feel of disapointment, even though no one was in the room any longer. In the middle of the room was a
twin sized bed that floated just a foot above the deeply sanitized floor and the entire room smelled of cleaning supplies. ‘How cozy’ Keaton struggled not to let out the sarcastic comment. It would only make matters worse. If they could get worse, which he doubted.
Equipment was still sprawled on a table about three feet from the bed, and there was blood speckled on the
floor. They had obviously been confused about what to do. It just had to be a heart attack that had struck in 3026, didnt it?! If it had been anything else! Cancer, a tumor,
sudden brain cell destruction, any of those things they would have been able to handle. But not this.
On the bed lay George Lanput’s unmoving body. He looked rather peaceful in the florecent light that set the room aglo. Rather like a fallen angel, he lay, silent. It
was hard to look at this man as though you would never see him again. But the truth of it was, that they wouldn’t see him again. He would never walk through the kitchen
door at breakfast and say, “Whatcha cookin, sweet thang?” and he would never again help with homework, or get mad when he missed a game… He was dead.
Now that he saw him, the reality of it all finally hit him. Before, he had only known, but not believed. And now
that he saw it, he had to believe, for the truth was right in front of his face. Lying there, with pale skin and not a breath in sight or sound. Feeling rather light headed, Keaton
fell to the tiled floor. And there, for the first
time since he had known that it was the end of his father,
he cried…



feel my own emotions
me...*sigh* 2 years ago

its really annoying when you cant tell what your feeling, and what others are feeling. but i never can. AND I HATE IT! i just want to be myself for once! :(



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