Sometimes when I’m on
I’m really fucking on
and my friends all sing along and they love me.
But the lows are so extreme
that the good seems fucking cheap,
and it teases me for weeks in its absence.
But I’ll fight, and I’ll make it through.
I’ll fake it if I have to
and I’ll show up for work with a smile.
I’ll be better, I’ll be smarter,
more grown up and a better daughter
and a real good friend.
Not all who wander are lost's Life List
-
1. Make the most of my 20's
4 entries . 27 cheers611 people -
2. be celibate until I am in a committed relationship with Mr. Right
1 entry . 6 cheers2 people -
3. Save money
4 cheers14,718 people -
4. buy a car
5 entries2,803 people -
5. Be Focused And Determined And Make Things Happen
1 entry . 10 cheers316 people -
6. go back to school
4 entries . 9 cheers2,463 people -
7. finish my bachelors degree
6 cheers468 people -
8. stop thinking about suicide
2 entries . 40 cheers74 people -
9. manage my bipolar disorder
25 entries . 29 cheers149 people -
10. Quit weighing myself so often
3 entries . 6 cheers1 person -
11. Overcome my eating disorder.
18 entries . 30 cheers392 people -
12. be comfortable in my own skin
15 cheers468 people -
13. Be less of a perfectionist
1 entry . 5 cheers129 people -
14. Stop caring what other people think of me
1 entry . 15 cheers3,977 people -
15. stop hurting people
5 entries . 7 cheers31 people -
16. stop homophobia
7 cheers122 people -
17. Help end racism
1 entry . 5 cheers14 people -
18. learn Spanish
2 cheers15,508 people -
19. become a feminist superhero
1 entry . 9 cheers38 people -
20. learn American Sign Language
2 cheers554 people -
21. Get a PhD
5 cheers2,790 people -
22. connect with the people in my life more deeply
2 entries . 6 cheers26 people -
23. actually learn to play my guitar
4 entries . 4 cheers542 people -
24. Learn to play the cello
5 cheers762 people -
25. Learn to play the piano
4 cheers7,464 people -
26. have nothing in my house that I do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful
1 entry . 7 cheers63 people -
27. get a professional massage
4 cheers257 people -
28. clean my room
3 entries . 2 cheers2,670 people -
29. Donate old clothes to charity
1 entry . 7 cheers139 people -
30. buy a bike
1 entry . 4 cheers408 people -
31. pay off my credit card
4 entries . 17 cheers1,514 people -
32. get out of debt
4 entries . 6 cheers11,041 people -
33. identify 100 things that make me happy.
7 entries . 2 cheers2,262 people -
34. believe the compliments that are given to me
9 cheers6 people -
35. Get a gym membership
1 cheer81 people -
36. Help My 43T Friends acheive their Goals
69 team members . 1 cheer31 people -
37. post random questions daily and see if anyone plays with me and answers them :)
5 entries . 2 cheers330 people
From across the table, my eyes never leave his.
His lips sip from his mug and I yearn for them to be on me.
Inching closer, our feet mingle;
our hands touch again and there’s nothing that can break our stare.
Lips embrace, tongues mesh,
pure passion – straight up.
But the only thing we’re sharing is this diner’s booth,
and conversation over coffee.
I shake my head and ask him to repeat that last sentence
Reality sets in and I need a refill.
Here I am, sitting in front of my Mac with my Oriental Shorthair purring in my lap, typing, rambling away as an attempt to make sense of my racing thoughts and cycling moods. I’m feeling down, but I know it could be worse. I feel submerged in lonliness but I know I’m not alone. A few years ago, if I were to dip into a mood like this, I would swallow half a bottle of NyQuil and draw a razor blade over my thighs until I passed out from the sedative. I certainly am making progress with this. I need to remember that.
Just breathe.
Its gonna be okay.
Good night everyone,
Meg
