I'm doing 37 things
Sometimes when I’m on
I’m really fucking on
and my friends all sing along and they love me.
But the lows are so extreme
that the good seems fucking cheap,
and it teases me for weeks in its absence.
But I’ll fight, and I’ll make it through.
I’ll fake it if I have to
and I’ll show up for work with a smile.
I’ll be better, I’ll be smarter,
more grown up and a better daughter
and a real good friend.
Not all who wander are lost's Life List
-
1. Make the most of my 20's
4 entries . 26 cheers693 people -
2. be celibate until I am in a committed relationship with Mr. Right
1 entry . 7 cheers3 people -
3. Save money
3 cheers16,111 people -
4. buy a car
5 entries . 1 cheer3,302 people -
5. Be Focused And Determined And Make Things Happen
1 entry . 9 cheers343 people -
6. go back to school
4 entries . 9 cheers2,677 people -
7. finish my bachelors degree
6 cheers473 people -
8. stop thinking about suicide
2 entries . 38 cheers78 people -
9. manage my bipolar disorder
25 entries . 26 cheers142 people -
10. Quit weighing myself so often
3 entries . 6 cheers1 person -
11. Overcome my eating disorder.
18 entries . 28 cheers426 people -
12. be comfortable in my own skin
14 cheers511 people -
13. Be less of a perfectionist
1 entry . 5 cheers126 people -
14. Stop caring what other people think of me
1 entry . 16 cheers4,566 people -
15. stop hurting people
5 entries . 6 cheers36 people -
16. stop homophobia
5 cheers118 people -
17. Help end racism
1 entry . 4 cheers14 people -
18. learn Spanish
2 cheers17,681 people -
19. become a feminist superhero
1 entry . 9 cheers37 people -
20. learn American Sign Language
2 cheers605 people -
21. Get a PhD
5 cheers2,962 people -
22. connect with the people in my life more deeply
2 entries . 6 cheers28 people -
23. actually learn to play my guitar
4 entries . 4 cheers545 people -
24. Learn to play the cello
5 cheers835 people -
25. Learn to play the piano
3 cheers8,241 people -
26. have nothing in my house that I do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful
1 entry . 5 cheers67 people -
27. get a professional massage
3 cheers244 people -
28. clean my room
3 entries . 2 cheers2,797 people -
29. Donate old clothes to charity
1 entry . 6 cheers151 people -
30. buy a bike
1 entry . 4 cheers431 people -
31. pay off my credit card
4 entries . 17 cheers1,541 people -
32. get out of debt
4 entries . 5 cheers12,093 people -
33. identify 100 things that make me happy.
7 entries . 3 cheers2,563 people -
34. believe the compliments that are given to me
9 cheers6 people -
35. Get a gym membership
2 cheers91 people -
36. Help My 43T Friends acheive their Goals
65 team members . 1 cheer28 people -
37. post random questions daily and see if anyone plays with me and answers them :)
5 entries . 2 cheers362 people
Recent entries
From across the table, my eyes never leave his.
His lips sip from his mug and I yearn for them to be on me.
Inching closer, our feet mingle;
our hands touch again and there’s nothing that can break our stare.
Lips embrace, tongues mesh,
pure passion – straight up.
But the only thing we’re sharing is this diner’s booth,
and conversation over coffee.
I shake my head and ask him to repeat that last sentence
Reality sets in and I need a refill.
Here I am, sitting in front of my Mac with my Oriental Shorthair purring in my lap, typing, rambling away as an attempt to make sense of my racing thoughts and cycling moods. I’m feeling down, but I know it could be worse. I feel submerged in lonliness but I know I’m not alone. A few years ago, if I were to dip into a mood like this, I would swallow half a bottle of NyQuil and draw a razor blade over my thighs until I passed out from the sedative. I certainly am making progress with this. I need to remember that.
Just breathe.
Its gonna be okay.
Good night everyone,
Meg
