CorvusOrru

This is more of a problem with my German and Biol homework than anything else. Maths C, I don’t know why, but I adore doing homework for it – somehow the idea of a subject in which one plus one does not equal two (or window) appeals massively to me, and I don’t really enjoy Maths all that much.

German is a great subject, and fun, and my teacher is marvellous, and we don’t get set too much to do, but whenever it rolls around to homework I just have no motivation to get it done. It is only in the ten minutes before my class actually starts that I realise I should actually have done something, and in a blurred rush write something with shoddy grammar and the extensive aid of a dictionary. Then when my sheet is handed back I instinctively fold it into the back of my exercise book because I’m too worried to see how bad I went, and as such I keep making the same grammatical/context mistakes, over and over again.

So my resolution is to get all my homework done. Therefore, I should not be stuffing around on this site at all, and should in fact be writing a mini film synopsis about this girl who spends too long in the shower, gets hit by a bus, and is rescued by a bogan on a bicycle, before said bogan makes many failed attempts to call said girl to, I don’t know, ask her out or something. These courting rituals confuse me.

See my “Save Australia from its water crisis” entry for details on this.

If I can’t get the Nobel Prize I can at least go for the Ig-Nobel. Which is just as cool. I’d get a mention in New Scientist and everything.

As you may or may not have noticed, Australia is going through a bit of a drought at the moment. This is especially affecting my home town, whose dam is on 17% capacity. Once we get to 5% we can’t get any more water from it (because it’s all mud and fish). This drops by 1% each month. In short, we have 12 months before we need to get bores working, or truck in water, or evacuate the town for somewhere rainier, ie New Zealand or England.

My idea, however, is much more radical.

Brisbane (where I currently live) has been having a fair bit of rain over the last few weeks. This has been regarded as absolutely fabulous by most Brisbanites, but there is one small problem – however much it rains, hardly any, if any at all, falls in the catchment areas.

And the reason for this? It is because of air pollution. It has been researched and proven that the water molecules that generally float around the air in the form of clouds will “stick” to the haze of pollution that floats above the cities. These gather together until eventually it rains.

(A prime example of this is over our school parking lot. Parents come to pick up their children, and because teenagers are a slow-moving species often it takes fifteen minutes of waiting for them to come out before the car can move on again. As you know, these modern-day adults are loath to turn off their car engines and as such send more and more fumes up into the sky. The consequence of this? Often it will start raining around our school, but as soon as the grounds are left behind, the rain is gone as well. Fog of air pollution, anyone?)

Around dams, however, there is distinctly less pollution. People either keep away from dams (because of the fish and duck-lice) or go there for a nice, clean, family getaway. Either way, pollution is kept to a minimum.

Obviously there is a simple solution to this. Increase air pollution (but not water pollution!) around the dams. Build CO2-belching factories right next to them, encourage families to take their 4WDs for a few laps around them. In this way, more water molecules, and thus clouds, and thus rain, will be attracted to the dams.

Am I not so clever? I have single-handedly provided the simplest solution to solving Australia’s water crisis.

I believe now I should start composing my acceptance speech for the Nobel Prize for Environmental Whatever.