CrazilySane

First things first… To understand and decide what one “big” goal I want to make my main goal.

Improving my Overall Health & Well-Being

• What this means:
  - Focusing on improving my physical, mental, emotional, as well as spiritual well-being.
  - Make goals that can be easily made possible. If they seem too big in themselves, keep breaking them down until they’re small enough to handle. Big ideas, small steps!
  - Understand that there are setbacks and times where I won’t feel strong enough or motivated enough to follow through. Keep trying to push myself through these times and avoid certain “triggers” that will only drag me down further.

This is a goal that is in the “here and now” and is something that I feel will really benefit me when I’ve accomplished it. I know that keeping this area of my life stable and healthy is important to building a good foundation for my other goals and dreams that I would also like to accomplish one day. It’s important for me to realize that I need to start at the basics, which is my own personal health and happiness.

I need to narrow down my list of goals, and start concentrating on single big goals and start taking a look at how I can accomplish them. I’m starting to realize that I have a tendency to spread out very wide in terms of my goals and the things I want to do in my life… it’s usually the same with everything, whether its goals, ideas, thoughts, etc. Thinking of all these different things that I eventually want to do leaves me spread thin because there is so much stuff, that I don’t know where to start.. and instead of focusing my energy all in one goal, I tend to scatter and give a little bit of energy into this, then a little bit of energy into that… without really accomplishing anything in the end.

I also have a tendency when making goals for myself, to be pretty vague… such as one of my past goals stating simply, “become more confident”. That was it. But more importantly, how would I even begin to achieve this? Being that vague had no purpose other than stating a lovely wish that I had.

This way of thinking and doing is not helping and I need to start training myself to become more focused and develop plans for myself… and start achieving what I want. I am finding that I continuously fall into the same kind of ruts, over and over again. I need to find ways to stay focused, and I think that if I try to make my goals as narrow and as tangible as possible, that I just may be able to get it to work… No, I KNOW that I can make it work!

Well, I finally kicked myself in my girlyballs to finally restart highschool again. I am 22 years old at the moment… I had to drop out about 3 years ago because of my financial situation. It was either work to put food in my stomach, and a roof over my head, or go to school. Things were fairly unstable in my life due to family mental health problems and I had been living on my own since I was 15.
Now life is feeling a lot more balanced and stable, and I think it’s time where I can work on this goal again without having to worry about my homelife, my family, and money (not like back then, at least).

I ordered my coursework a week and a half ago through ILC.org (online/long distance education in Ontario), and just received my course package on Tuesday.

I only have 4 credits left (five if I want to redo my last credit which I got shoddy marks in before I left school). I’m working on my grade 12 university English at the moment. I have roughly 10 months to finish this course, but you can finish it at your own pace, so I might be done it sooner than that.

The only depressing thing is that I know, and knew it even before I signed up for these courses, that once Im done highschool people still won’t stop. It won’t be “When are you going to finish Highschool?”, but instead it’ll be “So… when are you going to go to College/University?”. You can NEVER please the masses.
The most important lesson I’ve learned in life is that life is not a footrace. I do not have to feel pressured to finish highschool at the same time as everybody else. Everyone has their own paths in their life and can go at their own pace, just as I will have my own as well.
I feel so much better this time around trying to finish highschool because I know that this will be on MY own terms and I won’t feel so pressured while doing my courses.

I enjoy learning, I really do. I’ve always gotten pretty good grades in almost all courses that I’ve done (except for the early years of math, and of course my dreaded chemistry courses.) When I get to it, this will be my third time attempting grade 11 chemistry. This time around though, I think I have the support and help I’ll need to get through it. My chem/bio teacher in highschool was wonderful and tried her best to help me with different learning techniques for it, but I still had such a hard time with it. It happened often when I would be frustrated to tears in that class. I just didn’t get it. Chemistry was also the breaking point of when I left school, I just couldn’t handle it anymore.
I need to get through this and be able to take and understand chemistry though. I love and am pretty good at biology (which was my favourite course in highschool), and unfortunately chem and bio tend to go hand in hand with each other.

But, at least I’m trying to get this done! We’ll see once I get to my chemistry courses again, but I hope I can stay determined enough to pull through it.