Crucified0611

That’s what it says “yada Yahweh.” It means to know God through experience. I believe that each day our life experience causes us to know God in a different way. Through my life experiences of God providing for me I yada Jehovah Jireh; because God’s healed me I yada Jehova Rophe; etc. I believe that each of these yada experiences culminate with the quest of knowing Yahweh, knowing God in fullness by my experience. So that’s what it is- in Hebrew on my left wrist. Forever…

None. I’ve completely like not even put any effort at all into this. I moved away from most of the people that come to mind when I think about this goal- that’s no excuse, I could still reach out- but that’s reality. In reality it was going to be a struggle doing this within the same city, the same house even. Now that I have the added constraint of distance, I fear that this goal will never truly be realized. Because I’m no longer right there seeing them everyday, the issue is sometimes far from my mind- almost always far from my mind… it sickens me- I’m glad it sickens me though. For far too long it has not sickened me at all- I have not been phased by it one bit. I think maybe it’s only on my mind right now because I’m gooing home on Saturday… I will be faced with those same people, same situation, stuck in the same rut. I dunno… this may be a bit too much for me right now; I can even process it- I’m finding real trouble thinking through this. I want to not…

I´m here in Peru. It´s actually been going pretty well as far as ministry goes which is pretty awesome. Lives are being changed for the better, people being healed, folks getting delivered, captives set free, signs wonders- the whole nine. I still have foun myself wondering if I made the right decision- I know that I did , ut there´s this… I dunno. The kids are pretty great, I get along with my co-leader, my PDs are… here, so that´s good. I dunno I´m probably trippin or something, but it´s whatevs. I wish I had some deep thoughts about stuff, but I just don´t. Nothing- for the first time in a while I can pull nothing newly profound out. I´m glad I´m here and everything so I dunno that´s it. It may be because I´ve been a little sickly for the past couple days, but it´s cool. I thought I would die yesterday, but I made it through. Today a lot is feeling better and alot is feeling worst. It doesn´t make a difference. The point is that I don´t feel like I´ve gotten tons of fresh revelation while on this trip thus far. When I sit down in my quiet time I hear things that I already know I guess it´s just because I need those things to be reinforced in me. My prayer is really that we´ll grow. Okay the only thing- random- that I´ve been thinkin about or asking for is that the would be actual unity and not just a united front amongs the leadership team, but really thats all. So I can´t believe that we found a random internet cafe in the middle of nowhere and nothing-not even close… oh well