Dean_Webb

I’ve was an DBA analyst for 25 years. Mostly working for the governments and college. Then 9-11 happened. When you are schooled and know only one thing how do you go into a new field of endevor. My heart and mind always loved computers ever since I was about 13. At work I wish I knew how many times I would look up at the clock in my office and see that it was two in the morning. When you love something like that, it’s not work it’s a passion. I miss it but don’t know how to get back.

I always said that I would quit when I had children. But I never did. It’s not from wanting or trying. I did what I was suppose to. (smile) I’ve been smoking for 31 years. I’ve got the patches now I just need the will power. In my mind having kids would have given me that power. I started smoking to be in the “In Crowd”. My dad quite 15 years ago. My mom 6 months ago. I don’t think she has much time left.
It use to be easy to smoke. I remember when the nurses wheeled my bed out into the hall so I could smoke in ICU. Now you can’t smoke in most resturants.
If you have quit or you’re going to quit write and let me know what to expect. Please…I think I need help with this one.

Please understand this is not a sexual thing, it’s a spiritual thing. As people around me know, here you have a man that has ALWAYS wanted children but never had them. I’m 49 years old and like everyone else on this site, thinks about the things I never got to do but wanted to before…you know. I don’t think that people that have children can understand what it is like for someone that wants them but can’t have them. When I write I can’t have them it’s because I’m a male and so far science has found a way for men to carry a baby. If they were to come up with a way I’d be the first in line to try. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think I’d have “natural child birth” (smile it’s a joke) I’ve been told a million times “Take one of mine” and while I know that it’s a joke a piece of me finds that sad. I’ve seen the medical movies but think that it is probably like watching a movie about SCUBA and acutually doing it yourself. Guys probably aren’t suppose to want things like this but I know what I want. I have to live vicariously thru parents eyes please feel free to send a picture of your children and any funny stories, I love them.
Please wish me luck. If it ever does happen I don’t know if I’ll cry or what. But I do know it will be one of the best moments in my life.