Dejitaru

To the mirror,
It’s you, frowning again, what’s wrong? Reminded of the efforts I wrongly spent in those futile attempts to aesthetically please you, to linguistically anaesthetise you, to musically romanticise you? Too bad, relentlessly, they’ll pursue you as they stare deep, wind out my fingertips, trickle from my eyes. You just don’t seem to understand the notion of perfection the way I do, the way you harshly reflect all my flaws like you’re perfect yourself. Translucent, they should pass right through you, yet your opaque underpinnings reflect right back at me the negativity I’m trying to conceal. To fool oneself through one’s own reflection is only a reflection of one’s foolishness, yet all the talent in the world could not reflect favourably in this silver screen. Depends on the light, backlit from the rest of the world, there lies only a shadow, aside from the crowd, darkening only itself; light shining directly on the subject only seems to highlight the highs and downplay the lows, and in comparison, the shadows darken around it. Not every surface is as kind, or malicious, as you – instinctive glances in car windows, blinded by the sun; intuitive little glimpse of blur in calm waters, lit from inside – gently, gently nourish my vanity. How you subsist general monotony, and why, mesmerising now misty eyes, is mysteriously appealing, leaving me wondering if I may do the same one day. I see your eyes narrowing, darkening – don’t worry, I want to be like you, even if nobody else does.

Avert our eyes to comfort illusions
All too happy to live our delusions
Alone she bleeds, shrouded by night
Her body weeping with her silent plight
Torment typified in the blood she cried

And her blood, it runs cold
And her eyes look so old
And the scars on her arms
Prove the lies she once told
And her mind shies away
And leaves deft hands to play
And we’ll watch once again
All her mouth would not say

When did she decide the futility of life?
When the shadows take hold and our fears run rife
And the time in between holds no meaning no more
And the light has run dry, there’s no feelings no more
Can’t help but succumb to the edge of a blade
She can’t face up to the promises she’s made
Hides in the darkness so no-one can see her
Proving wrong those who want to hold her

Depression and anger always had a place in you
Their malice and suffering could always take shape in you
There was nothing you could do
There was nothing we could do
Blue fades from those eyes
Ocean runs dry
There was nothing we could do.
Nothing.

As they commute, we pollute
We try to feel complete
Strip clubs, brothels, we populate
Until shadows make us meet
Darkness in these buildings hide
The whores that we’re undressing
While this town smothers talent
It uncovers urges we’re repressing

The city’s always waiting
But the people, they grow old
The smog is suffocating
And it turns our young hearts cold

The morning bites again
Tearing at my mind
I’ve gotta leave this city
For the dreams I need to find
With every step, life drains from us
Until there’s nothing left
Empty shells, we are this city
Desolate, bereft

The city’s always waiting
But the people, they grow old
The smog is suffocating
And it turns our young hearts cold